this post was submitted on 28 Oct 2025
165 points (96.1% liked)

Not The Onion

20421 readers
1459 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
kescusay@lemmy.world
165
Truck hauling ‘aggressive’ monkeys carrying herpes and COVID overturns in Mississippi (www.actionnews5.com)
submitted 3 months ago by resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
22 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

cross-posted from: https://lemmings.world/post/36124854

top 22 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] hellfire103@lemmy.ca 42 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Who had *checks notes* 28 Days Later on their bingo card?

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 16 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I think Americans are just reviewing 90s and 2000s disaster movies and using them as a guide.

[–] Cascio@lemmy.world 23 points 3 months ago (1 children)

[–] hellfire103@lemmy.ca 15 points 3 months ago (1 children)

[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 2 points 3 months ago

Oh yeah, its all coming together

[–] bajabound@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I seem to recall a documentary where Cuba gooding Jr saved a small town from a monkey.

[–] moondoggie@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

Yeah, yeah, we’ve all seen Jerry Maguire

[–] spaghettiwestern@sh.itjust.works 22 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

The upside? There's been measurable increase in Mississippi's IQ.

[–] Protoknuckles@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

I knew Norm McDonald was still alive!

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 15 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Here's a thought, let's not infect monkeys with COVID and herpes, eh?

[–] fonix232@fedia.io 9 points 3 months ago

Or if we must... don't transport them en masse? or at all?

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 4 points 3 months ago

a fun fact to know, that monkeys carry a type of herpes, called herpes B virus, which is related to HSV1&2, while herpes is usually a benign infection in the monkeys, the HERPES B virus is quite deadly to humans if they infected by it, because its a zoonotic virus, and humans dont have similar virus to it, much like with avian flu virus.

[–] VocationConfining@piefed.social 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Am I mlissing something? I don't see a mention of herpes, COVID, or aggressive.

[–] molten@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

Yeah... same here.

[–] MantisToboggon@lazysoci.al 9 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Jesus what kind of depraved shit were these monkeys into?!

[–] foggy@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago

Not even gonna ask...

[–] BarbecueCowboy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 3 months ago

The article doesn't say whether these are two separate groups of monkeys, some infected with COVID and some infected with Herpes, or a cohesive set of monkeys simultaneously infected with COVID and Herpes.

[–] notsure@fedia.io 5 points 3 months ago

....and only in Mississippi news...

[–] bookmeat@lemmynsfw.com 3 points 3 months ago

Awwshit, here we go again...