ADHD

I don't struggle with eye contact because I purposefully avoid it.

When I was a kid yes but my dad took it as disrespect so i traded it for masking and general anxiety

Look at the ground and orient my ear towards them or I'm not hearing anything they say

*AUDHD

I can't think when I'm focusing on making eye contact with someone.

Like. I'm looking at you in the eyes or I'm paying attention to what you're saying but I can't do both.

Avoiding eye contact is typically associated with autism, but there is a lot of overlap between autism and ADHD. See also AuDHD

I often get overwhelmed with too much information when making eye contact, and I'm rarely able to listen/understand while making eye contact. The easiest way for me to listen is to be looking anywhere else. This does not always go well in a corporate environment, and did not go well when my parents were trying to reprimand me.

Phone calls or online meetings instead of face-to-face meetings can help (if you can cope with that). Otherwise, learning when eye contact is socially necessary and when you can relax a little can go a long way (or so I've heard, I still haven't mastered this one).

I start to think about which eye to look at and that distracts me, so for close friends I do much less eye contact than with people I'm meeting or working with

To me this sounds like AuDHD, but this is obviously far from a diagnosis and I'm not a professional, I merely have read so much that I sometimes know better (lol)

Jokes aside, try this: https://rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php

It's so far the only online test that gets somewhat close to what a diagnosis would probably say and I've asked diagnosticians and they said it's useful to get a first idea whether to seek a diagnosis, as this mostly looks the same as their questionnaires. Don't forget to save the PDF with the full results at the end or you will have to do it again.

Yeah I also tend to face away (like sideways) from people when talking to them. I just dont like looking at people's eyes when talking. I dont mind shaking their hand or looking at their eyes when they talk though

This sounds pretty similar to my experience. I have a hard time looking at just one thing for any stretch of time, and eye contact is especially difficult, because it makes me think about what I look like, which is another distraction from the conversation that I'm probably already missing

I am right there with you. Eye contact makes me so uncomfortable, and I listen so much better when I'm looking at nothing.

I do but I also have autism. For me it's definitely more of an autism thing. I'm curious what it is for ADHD folks in here.

Do you also sit on your couch or bed and just stair out the window for like 30 minutes or longer at a time?

Yes!

I don't do it intentionally, but my wife often tells me to look at her when she's talking so she knows I'm listening.

The rest you wrote sounds a lot like ADHD inattentive type, especially executive distinction. And caffeine is a stimulant which can have similar effects as meds. If you can still sleep without problems or even better after drinking coffee, that's an additional indication.

The problem with ADHD is that most of our struggles are things "everybody has once in a while" but it's so much more often and extreme that it makes our lives harder.

Get checked if you have the possibility.

I used to look down but then I got para that the person would think I was staring at their chebs so now I just look at the eyebrows.

Not that it matters because I usually forget what was said within seconds anyway.

I grew up in a rural area during the 80/90's so any diagnosis would just be 'shy or awkward kid'

Sometimes, but not always.

Tip for eye contact: look at their nose instead. Apparently it looks like you're making eye contact but it's much less weird to do. Thank you the my college teacher for that tip, it's served me well over the years

I used to, before I took public speaking lessons. I still tend to move my eyes around a lot in personal conversations, though.