this post was submitted on 24 Dec 2025
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Leopards Ate My Face

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DES MOINES, IA — Jessica Djukanovic, a conservative wrestling coach, mother of four, and loyal voter for the “Traditional Values and Strict Legislation Party,” is reportedly “shocked and appalled” to discover that the very laws she helped implement are currently treating her life as a secondary concern to a non-viable fetus.

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[–] echodot@feddit.uk 177 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

“I wasn’t allowed to choose me? Where’s the pro-life in that?”

That is literally what they voted for. They actually voted for the mother not to be allowed to have a choice in the matter.

This is what single digit IQ looks like folks.

[–] apftwb@lemmy.world 67 points 2 weeks ago

“I wasn’t allowed to choose me? Where’s the pro-life in that?”

Her community, her family, her school, her state, and our shared society failed this woman. That is some bottom tier comprehension and critical thinking that has to cultivated by basically everyone in her life.

[–] Lightsong@lemmy.world 18 points 2 weeks ago

Took me a few tries to get past the fact it wasn't a satire.

[–] CileTheSane@lemmy.ca 11 points 2 weeks ago

I wasn’t allowed to choose me?

Look who suddenly understands "Pro-choice"

[–] Chronographs@lemmy.zip 102 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

So cool we have headlines censoring died now. Though some random Iowa lady getting the care she voted for isn’t exactly news I suppose

[–] Steve@startrek.website 24 points 2 weeks ago

Engagement bait

[–] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 92 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

What kind of shitty ass news website censors the word died? Shit needs to be blacklisted.

[–] I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world 50 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It seems to be basically a blog, run by one woman who calls herself an "independent journalist."

The "article" has gems like this:

For years, Djukanovic proudly stood with the Leopard Party, cheering on their platform of “protecting the unborn” and “getting the government out of our lives” (while simultaneously putting the government into everyone’s doctors’ offices). However, the celebratory mood shifted last month when a Leopard walked into her own living room and began sizing up her forehead.

[–] pressedhams@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 2 weeks ago

That’s some beautiful prose.

[–] theacharnian@lemmy.ca 86 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Excellent opportunity to remind everyone of this classic of feminist writing: “The Only Moral Abortion is My Abortion” - When the Anti-Choice Choose, by Joyce Arthur.

[–] AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 47 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Loved that one, recommend everyone to read it through at least once.

The lady telling the nurse "you're going to hell for this you know" while she's on the GOD DAMN TABLE getting herself an abortion is absolutely wild. I honestly can't see how any of these people can be reasoned with.

[–] Rooty@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago

Because they're the 🌟special ones🌟, who are getting an express ticket to heaven no matter how they behave. Being a hypocrite is their core belief.

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[–] MehBlah@lemmy.world 60 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

In truth that jackass probably had no idea what any of it meant until it applied to her.

[–] Rakonat@lemmy.world 48 points 2 weeks ago

Every conservative voter ever. And to make matters worse, they'd probably say there should be an exception for them but other women in an identical condition should have to risk death.

Critical thinking and empathy are both foreign concepts to them.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 31 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

This is the problem with these people. This won't lead to some epiphany because they still refuse to accept that they actually voted for this.

She didn't actually bother to read any of the flyers and just came up with her own interpretation of what was being promised. Then voted for that imagined reality.

[–] Typhoon@lemmy.ca 18 points 2 weeks ago (7 children)

As a general rule conservatives can't imagine how horrible a situation is until it applies to them. This is why empathy should be taught in school.

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[–] Seleni@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

Sure she did. ‘Conservatism consists of exactly one proposition, to wit: There must be in-groups whom the law protects but does not bind, alongside out-groups whom the law binds but does not protect.’

Her misunderstanding was in not realizing which group she was in. She thought those laws applied to those other people, not her.

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[–] moakley@lemmy.world 55 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

My wife was denied medical care in Texas because she might be pregnant. There was no reason to think she might be, but they still wouldn't perform her mammogram, which was scheduled to follow up on a lump she found.

She ended up taking a pregnancy test in a Whataburger bathroom near the doctor's office. That's the state of medical care in Texas for women.

[–] NewSocialWhoDis@lemmy.zip 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

And what if she just lies? This is more or less true for me: I have an IUD that has more or less ended my periods. Whenever they ask me for a last period I just say I don't have one and that I am not pregnant. I do not entertain any of their speculation. If you have no intention of remaining pregnant, it's a good enough answer.

I am skeptical of your story because I don't think any medical facility would accept the result of a pregnancy test not administered by a medical professional.

[–] moakley@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Well it happened.

You're right they wouldn't have accepted the results. They called her while she was taking the pregnancy test to tell her not to bother, because it wouldn't be accurate enough anyway.

She was going to fight them on it, but the test was positive. So she just came home instead.

Her regular doctor said she wasn't going to recommend that facility anymore, because the whole thing is fucked up regardless of the outcome.

Even though mammograms are generally considered safe during pregnancy, her doctor just did an ultrasound instead. I believe that's because the doctor wasn't that worried about the lump, otherwise she'd have gotten the mammogram.

I didn't mention all that other stuff in my original comment because I don't want to distract from how fucked up it is that they treated her that way. It doesn't matter whether she was actually pregnant, or even if mammograms are considered unsafe for pregnant women (and again, they're generally not). They put a hypothetical unborn child over my wife's health. It's unacceptable.

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 18 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

How does a mammogram affect a pregnancy anyway?

[–] RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com 19 points 2 weeks ago

babies are stored in the breasts

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[–] echodot@feddit.uk 10 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

What's the point in even becoming a doctor if they're going to be that pathetic. How would performing a monogram have any bearing on a pregnancy?

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[–] Rentlar@lemmy.ca 52 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

“I wasn’t allowed to choose me? Where’s the pro-life in that?”

That's literally pro-choice, dawg. "Pro-life" is literally pro-birth even for a non-viable fetus at your own expense.

[–] BradleyUffner@lemmy.world 47 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

Pro-life isn't pro-birth, it's forced-birth. It's "I will strap you down to a table against your will and watch you die, if I have to, to make sure it happens."

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[–] NutWrench@lemmy.ml 47 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 36 points 2 weeks ago

She’s getting what she voted for. It’s a Christmas miracle. I’m happy for her

[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 35 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Thoughts and prayers:

  • Thought: I think she is quite stupid.

  • Prayer: May she suffer from her life choices, and then rot in hell.

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[–] FatVegan@leminal.space 34 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Are we not allowed to say "died" anymore?

[–] fishy@lemmy.today 21 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

I hate the word police, the grammar nazis were better.

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[–] Deconceptualist@leminal.space 31 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Haha. Michele Stills might suddenly be my new favorite editorialist. This was quite an amusing and incisive read.

Don't get me wrong, my heart goes out to these folks (despite their obstinate stupidity) because no one should have to suffer the trauma and anguish they've gone through. But assuming the coverage is accurate, they've 100% supported the abuse all along, and that's pretty fucked up.

EDIT: Also I don't see the supposed censorship people are claiming. The victim here was quoted as saying "I almost died" and it also includes the word "dying" so it seems fine to me. But I load this shit in Firefox Focus with an ad-blocking VPN so YMMV.

[–] grue@lemmy.world 28 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

EDIT: Also I don't see the supposed censorship people are claiming.

The headline says "d!ed." With an exclamation point instead of an i.

[–] Deconceptualist@leminal.space 8 points 2 weeks ago

Oh duh, my brain skipped right over that. So corny. Thanks.

[–] hanrahan@piefed.social 30 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 26 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

"Trump voter is malicious idiot until own face eaten"

This is not news.

[–] T00l_shed@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago

Often still after having their face eaten

[–] SnarkoPolo@lemmy.world 21 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

"Welcome to Chez Leopard. For your culinary delight, Chef has prepared a filet of MAGA face, reverse seared in a Medoc sauce Bordelaise. Bon Appétit!"

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[–] RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 19 points 2 weeks ago

What a cunt.

[–] mfed1122@discuss.tchncs.de 19 points 2 weeks ago

Womp womp hope ya die

[–] breadsmasher@lemmy.world 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] lmmarsano@lemmynsfw.com 14 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Conservatives sure love putting those "traditions" ahead of liberty until it fucks them over.

[–] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 12 points 2 weeks ago

Leopard just savouring this with a Dom Perignon '64.

[–] SanctimoniousApe@lemmings.world 11 points 2 weeks ago

Can somebody bump the record player? It's skipping again.

[–] ThePyroPython@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago

~~Really~~ Almost makes me wish she had.

[–] Sharkticon@lemmy.zip 10 points 2 weeks ago

Really feel like you should be able to edit the title if it does something stupid like censors the word died.

[–] Lemmythings@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Sorry what is D!ed? My english isn't that well...

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[–] Gammelfisch@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago

Absolutely zero sympathy and both of them can piss in the wind. Stupid fucks.

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