this post was submitted on 06 Jan 2026

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No Stupid Questions

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submitted 3 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by shrimpgirl@lemmy.cafe to c/nostupidquestions@lemmy.world

7 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Some of them talked me out of suicide. They didn't judge me or tell me "grow up, you crying miserable b***" they just listened, talked with me for a long time, related to me with their own things, and didn't make me feel guilty or like I'd done something bad by letting my emotions out. They were genuinely concerned for me and were almost like friends.
When I was being harassed, they either dealt with them or offered me support/advice on what to do, and offered me encouragement, even if I was crying.
Most of my friends at school were from this scene, and they were genuinely kind, loyal, and very funny people.
One time I lost my purse and was freaking out. I was already having a bad day and some man who belonged to said subculture comes out of nowhere and finds it for me. Again, even though I was crying, he didn't judge me or insult me over it.

When I'm feeling depressed, I look up videos, posts, etc about the subculture, and it makes me feel comforted. Relived this subculture that's so sentimental to me is still going. Comforted, but also there's this bittersweet feeling, because I think none of those people I knew before are with me right now, I either lost contact with them or the men who talked me out of suicide don't hang out in the spot they hung out in anymore. Aside from therapists, they're the only other group of people I feel comfortable about opening up to. I bottle up my emotions normally. I feel like if this subculture died out tomorrow my world would feel a lot colder.

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 19 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

It's so normal, that's what cults exploit to recruit people.

[–] cecilkorik@lemmy.ca 16 points 3 days ago

Provided they're not nazis or fascists or sex traffickers or anything like that. There are bad people out there who prey on vulnerable depressed people and they can be really really nice (at first), and they can wear any costume they want, to fit into any subculture. But some subcultures are more hospitable for them than others. Most subcultures are pretty okay, there's a few where I would potentially be very careful. Just be smart about it, and be vigilant for abusive behaviors, grooming, and other red flags.

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 15 points 3 days ago

That sounds perfectly normal.

I have to admit I've been feeling rather down myself lately and reading about your community made me wish I had something like that. It sounds really nice and I'm glad that you appreciate those memories!

[–] Broadfern@lemmy.world 13 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Sounds like punk, goth, metal, or furries. /pos

It’s completely normal to have sentimental attachments to positive influences in your life! Those people were/are your friends, however long they lasted.

I’m sure that scene would also welcome you again, should you decide to revisit it more directly.

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 10 points 3 days ago

People get emotionally attached to subcultures for much less (though that usually means that they'll join that subculture, if that's possible). Sounds to me like it would only really be an issue if the subculture in question was something like criminal biker gangs or neo-nazis.

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 7 points 3 days ago

Well, yeah, it's normal.

When you find goodness in the world, and it shares a common denominator, it is perfectly normal to develop some degree or another of affection/attachment for that common denominator. You don't have to be depressed for that, it just makes it easier.

It can turn into an unhealthy obsession, and it's possible that the motivations may not be without strings (cults and such), but those aren't going to be the case every time.

Like, for me, I have a deep and abiding love for gay culture, specifically gay male culture, because of how much love I have received from that subculture. That has expanded over the years to embrace the entire rainbow of the LGBTQ+ community (with some extra affection for my trans folks). You go for a while needing acceptance and open appreciation, you're going to end up returning it when a specific group is where you find it.

Truth is that the more sub a subculture is, the more likely the people in it are to be outsiders in some way. Maybe marginalized, maybe just atypical; but whether they were individually outsiders that found solidarity, or they became such by joining the subculture, outsiders have a tendency to be at least a little more accepting of other outsiders (though you run into some weird shit where you get schisms sometimes).

And it can be local. As an example, I've had universally great interactions with juggalos in my area, but they can be major dicks in other places. As another, furries tend to be really chill with non furries that accept them but can have bitter faction wars with each other.

Don't let yourself get sucked into any cult shit, but otherwise find the goodness of humanity wherever you can, and enjoy it. Nothing wrong with that