southsamurai

Well, I would give you the answer, but since I snapped back as soon as I read the post, I'm now responding what has been 650 years later for me, and I'm too fucking old for this shit a second time. I bypassed getting snapped back this time by just not reading the post and coming straight in to comment.

Now, what will happen if I read the

Allergies.

I'm allergic to bee venom, so I developed a phobia of them after my second sting at about 5 years old.

It took me until my thirties to start working on the phobia.

I reached a point where I was able to encounter bees, wasps, and hornets without fleeing or freaking out. I even caught a bumblebee that got into the house a few weeks ago and released it. Well, me and my kid did, it got into a weird corner and it took both of us to get it captured without hurting it.

But, back in my early twenties, I once ran away from a bumblebee that was doing absolutely nothing, leaving my patient standing there confused.

Those two events encapsulate my bee experience perfectly lol.

As it stands, as long as a nest of hornets or wasps isn't in my yard, I'm okay with them. In my yard, if there's nobody willing to relocate them, they ded.

Other bees and bee like critters are all good, though I would call the beekeeper that I know if a hive set up shop in the yard because he has promised he'd do so. And I know him because he was a total bro when I randomly called him and explained I was working through a phobia, and could he help with a few things. Dude went so far above and beeyond it was crazy.

Not only did he bring out single bees for visits in those little queen boxes, he did so with it taking a half hour each way, and turned turn gas money. Then, once I was chill with holding the box, he bought a freaking suit that would fit my sasquatch ass, just so I could visit his hives. Said that since he had started lifting, it was an investment in his success in getting beefed up, but dude is all of 5'7, and even though he does lift regularly is still way smaller than me, and always will be.

Anyway, point is that it eventually got to the point that I could visit his hives without the suit, though not up close. way closer than I ever thought possible, because it was close enough that bees were in the air around us. And I had my epipen in hand. But still.

That's tangential to what you actually asked, but I do view flying, stinging insects with a different emotion than anything else. Bumblers are as close to zero reaction as it gets because they're just so chill. As long as I see them instead of them buzzing me before I can track them, I can sit and watch them.

Honey bees, it's number based. Once there's more than a few, I can't track them all, so I tend to get nervous and exit the vicinity calmly.

Wasps and hornets, I do not fuck with. That clenching in my guts when they're nearby is not ever going away, I don't think. But, I don't run screaming like a child any more.

But other than that, my likes and dislikes are fairly broad. Like, I don't even hate roaches and mosquitoes, I just don't want them around because of health risks. I can see the beauty in them, I can appreciate them without an "ugh" factor. Compare that to seeing up close pictures of hornets where, as much as I recognize their beauty, it's a horrifying beauty.

Now, how much I like something is pretty damn arbitrary. I love tigers, but lions are just cool. Why? No fucking idea. I like reptiles, but it's not an emotional thing. It's "oh, cool, a snake. So, what were we talking about?"

Dogs and cats, I don't even factor into this kind of thing because we've coevolved with both for so long that they're part of us.

But, chickens. Fucking chickens! We have some now, and I love the things. Growing up, the chickens I knew were all food production. Small scale, a dozen or so layers that could be used as meat in a pinch, plus some being raised for meat. So they weren't exactly socialized with humans. If you weren't bringing them food, and weren't bothering them, they DNGAF about you.

But, our first one was taken in young, as a sorta rescue. So he got socialized part way. Then we got a hen that was hand raised, and very young, and she very much enjoys being with her people, so she's much more personable with humans in general. And even the half feral hen that has joined us is a delight in her own way, despite not wanting contact directly. They're all dumber than dammit, and messy and loud, but that's part of what's great about them too.

Two years ago, at this point in 2023, if you told me that the best part of my evenings would be cuddling on my couch with a chicken, I would have assumed you were tripping balls. And if you told me I'd be willing to die for a chicken, I'd have told you you were an idiot. But here I am, perfectly willing to run into the yard and take off after a coyote because it was fucking with my rooster. Which, I forgot the damn shotgun as far as that goes, which is also a good indicator of exactly how upset I was. Ran right past the thing, broke a hinge on the door and was as close to running as I get. Had to spend two days in bed recovering from screwing up my back during it, but I'd still do it again.

I fucking love my chickens, and that love has spread to other chickens. The one feral rooster that runs around used to annoy the shit out of me, but now I look forward to him, my rooster, and the little bantam rooster at another house serenading everyone. When the ferals pay a visit, or the flock from the other nearby house that keeps birds get loose and show up, I'm watching and smiling, even if I don't go join them.

Aight, you seem to want to ignore the legal benefits, so I won't mention that beyond saying that it is a hell of a lot easier to get married than to figure out all the paperwork needed to duplicate it, and not even have the exact same outcomes, just the majority. The tax thing, for example, you can't file jointly if you aren't married, no matter what else you set up (edit: in places where things like common law marriage aren't recognized)

The biggest thing is the experience, imo. The memory.

Now, me and my wife went to the JoP, with our kid and required witnesses (my best friend and his husband).

No fancy reception, no major party, just went home and said to my dad "we're back, no problems." He said congratulations, and went back to watching TV.

Total spent was about a hundred bucks, including gas. And the memories of it are wonderful, we cherish it all, and we're happy as hell we didn't do anything else.

Wedding ceremonies, however, are expensive once you go beyond that bare minimum. That's a cultural/sociological thing where the needs of the individual and the culture mesh into not only believing it necessary, but beneficial.

And, for the people that want it, it is beneficial. Ceremonies, rites, rituals, they serve a purpose beyond the legal or official status that comes with them. Weddings are as much about community as they are the couple. It's the union being both recognized and celebrated at the same time, even when it's a secular ceremony rather than religious.

Don't get me wrong, the money spent on empty bullshit surrounding weddings is absurd. But the actual wedding, where the community stands around the couple is incredibly powerful in terms of validation, even when it's the license that really matters legally. You can have ceremonies without the license; I performed several of them back before same sex marriage became legal. Those events were important, and doubly so because they had no legal standing.

I think that's what you're missing, that there's a massive difference between two people shacking up and marriage. When the people involved swear an oath, and/or exchange symbols of union it means something, even if there's no witnesses, not even someone to perform a ceremony. But as you move into witnesses and an officiant, it feels different because it is a public commitment. You can still divorce or whatever, but it happened, and you can never deny that. That moment, the vows, they exist in a way they don't if you swear only to each other.

Yeah, two people can be just as committed, and honor their commitment perfectly without anything else. But it feels different.

Now, again, I'd argue that once you start shelling out for crazy dresses and cake and niche receptions, you hit diminishing returns very quick. That's to satisfy other things, not the union itself. It may well make people happy, but it doesn't add anything to the underlying point of there being a ceremony in the first place. That of saying to the world "where once there were two, now there are one".

Not that anyone has to share the valuation, but it's what underlies the whole thing, and it has value

Yup, que

I love the typo because it covers so many things at once

Queue as in they're lining up to do it; cue, as in that's their cue to be stupid; and que (spanish for what) as in what the fuck are they thinking?

Ikr?

Under the grounds that the senator is a visitor to their country, they're a sovereign nation, and that isn't something anyone wants happening.

Best case, it works, and further weakens US soft power by way of ignoring the authority of a sovereign nation directly, and without a consensus. Worst case, it's basically declaring civil war here, and could be considered an act of war there.

And there's no guarantee they would have stopped him, but they could. They could basically hold him and put his ass on a plane back here, and be well within their rights, no matter whether they're morally right or not. We'd do exactly the same thing if a foreign representative staged a jailbreak on our soil.

I'm not saying the us has never interfered in shit before. I'm just saying it wasn't one senator going off the rails on his own whim, and that makes a huge difference in outcomes.

The fuck did anyone expect?

Awwwww, yeeeeaaahhhh

Ah, shit, it's on!

I'm on team marmite

Ahhh, the gICEtapo goes high tech

Horse shit

People like what they like, it isn't an insult

Ever had steak diane? Steak au poivre?

How about gremolata, chimmichuri, creamed mushrooms, caramelized onions, wine and balsamic reductions?

Hell, just salt and fucking pepper alter the flavor of the beef.

No need for food snobbery at all.

The only problem with people using bottled sauces is that it may not be equally effective for their needs if it isn't the right cut of steak. An a1 type of sauce gives a different end flavor on something like a rib eye than a filet because the fat levels and "beefiness" aren't the same.

Now, me? If I want steak, I want steak, not sauces, so the most I'm going to put on top is something like a pan sauce where I deglaze with bourbon and let it reduce enough to nix the alcohol flavor but still pick up the fond.

But that's me. I ain't mad at anyone having food the way they like it; might not be willing to buy a filet for someone that insists on well done for everything, but I'll be glad to hook them up with a cut that works when well done so that I'm not wasting money on something they won't enjoy as much.