extradition?
this post was submitted on 22 Jan 2026
897 points (99.1% liked)
Not The Onion
19611 readers
1034 users here now
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Please also avoid duplicates.
Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Fucking LOL. That's amazing.
Want to make it better?
Turns out the jewelers intentionally undervalued what was in the truck to avoid paying a high insurance rate. They claimed their goods were only worth about $10m when in reality the actual appraised value was $100m.
Now the jewelers are trying to sue the transportation company (Brinks) for the full value of what was stolen. Brinks, in return, is countersuing the jewelers for breach of contract and fraud.
Honestly hope everyone here loses. Except the guy who self deported. He already won.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Law enforcement doesn't want you know this simple trick
Commit crimes and then leave the country.
If you're an immigrant the US government will even charter a flight for you.
load more comments
(4 replies)
"Anger as suspect in ＄100M jewelry heist said to be biggest in US history avoids standing trial – because ICE paid for and aided his getaway."
Yeah... This guy is probably happy to GTFO
Probably called the feds on himself.
Probably cheaper than paying for a pardon
The officials said Flores appeared at an immigration hearing on December 16, where he represented himself, and admitted to the allegations against him then requested voluntary departure.
If a bunch of morons offer you a get out of jail free card and a one way ticket to freedomville, you take it.
The prosecutors added they “remain eager to prosecute defendant for his crimes and vindicate his victims” if he returns to the country.
That dude won the jackpot, cashed in his chips, walked out the front door, and he is never coming back.
This whole story couldn't be more ridiculous if it were a Looney Toon's episode.
never coming back
Why wouldn't he return illegally, commit crimes and get himself deported again?
He'd never do that, that would be illegal!
It's probably a bit too much of gamble to risk doing it ever again. Deportation is absolutely fine but you don't want to end up in one of their concentration camps.
I think that's where the voluntary part comes in. He wasn't fighting it so they just shipped him off. If he'd fight it then it's off to camp while we arrange your hearing (whenever we decide to get around to it).
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(3 replies)
load more comments
(2 replies)
The perfect crime 😎
Do I go for the vault? No I take the chandelier, it's priceless.
- Dwight Schrute
that happens when high quotas are set as Miller did, ice agents will deport no matter what to fulfill
edit: do Maduro next
WIth or without the jewelry?
Edit:
Much of the merchandise has not been recovered.
It hurt itself in its confusion!
oops. didn't mean to send that emoji lol. Dunno how to remove it.
Justice? No, Just ICE. What did they think would happen when they started targeting courts and going after people just for getting charged with a crime? They already fucked over a bunch of people by pardoning convicted criminals who owed a ton of restitution.
I mean they said they wanted to deport criminals lol
Deporting criminals sounds good but when you actually think about it it doesn't really work.
Serious criminals are allowed to just walk away, but poor granny has to be dragged from her home kicking and screaming. Maybe it's not about enforcing laws at all, eh? Start calling a spade a spade and stop dancing to their drum.
Sometimes the system works.
Go off, king.
FIRST you Libtards COMPLAINED when we were Shooting Mothers in the Face and Kidnapping Children and NOW You're complaining when we're ACTUALLY Deporting Criminals! There's NO PLEASING YOU!
-Hakeem Jeffries!
Well you know what they say about broken clocks. Good on Jeson, I hope he gets away with it. What a legend.
Knee I wouldn't be the only one thinking of that saying
Oh no. Bet that guy is chilling now with a grin on his face.
Did he get sent to that hell-hole Equadorian prison though? That'd be a massive self-own.
Isn't self deport a plane ticket to where you want, on your own time and with your own money?
I think you're mixing it with El Salvador
You could be right. It's hard to keep up with the horrors.
load more comments
(3 replies)
You can now commit any crime in the U.S. and easily get away with it. Just have ICE escort you to freedom.
I was thinking the same thing… commit a crime, stash the money, then turn yourself in… to ICE, confessing to being an illegal alien. Doesn’t matter if you’re a native citizen, they’ll fly you to the country of your choice to make quota.
I hope the insurance company sues DHS/ICE for assisting with his escape.
Task failed successfully
To bad he didn't face a trial