raise your hand?
this post was submitted on 04 Feb 2026
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Flash the hazards twice, also works as a thank you for letting me merge in or whatever, it’s pretty common in the UK.
I have gone to using a single hazard flash when people are in front of me as well instead of flashing high beams(reserved as the head tap equivalent for cars) because I hate when people blind me at night trying to thank me… high beams are way brighter than they used to be.
I roll down the window and do the Sorry/ThankYou Wave. 👋
Especially if they DIDN'T honk.
This. I will forgive most driving indiscretions if I see a wave/acknowledgement of wrongdoing.
Like this 🖕
Bow head down slightly, lift your hand slightly like a weak wave, show a little humility in your eyes if they meet.
🫢
I've seen people put both hands up a little above the steering wheel and that was probably the clearest way I've seen.
I wave the back of my hand with all my fingers up except my thumb, index, ring, and pinky
Hand up, and bow head.
This. It says, "I acknowledge you are upset, and accept blame."
Instructions unclear. Ended up doing the wave (like you see at baseball stadiums) alone in a car.
Accidentally dabbed.
Accidently my ass! Stop trying to bring it back!
I usually wave at them as though I think they're a friend of mine just saying hello.
I find that rolling over and showing my belly, while impractical, is reliably effective at diffusing these situations.
I have a huge purple dildo. I just start beating myself about the head and shoulders.
Otherwise known as a catholic penance.
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(Edit: real answer) For most acknowledgements, I double-tap a light — beams, brakes, or hazards depending on current lighting conditions and relative position of other driver — because most things I would say to them are two beats long:
- “Thank you”
- ”Sorry”
- “My bad”
- ”Go on”
- ”Nice drift”
- ”You drunk?”
I've mostly seen the double-flick of lights to mean either "Go ahead, make your move, I see you and I won't hit you" (to pedestrians or someone waiting to turn into/out of a driveway in heavy traffic) or "turn on your lights you idiot, it's pouring rain." But it's always heavy traffic in Southern California, and it never rains, but man, it pours.
For me, I go with:
One long honk : PAY ATTENTION! Right now to avoid an accident!
One short honk: hey bud, not mad but the light changed, or similar. Also used when I see someone I know.
Two short honks: did not respond to one short honk. Also used when I was the one to fuck up - accompanied by head nod/bow, arms up with hands upturned, mouthing "I'm sorry", and/or similar gestures.
Two long honks: you did something bad, like turning out in front of me with not enough room. I'm yelling about it!
Combination of short and long honks: I'm pissed at what you just did. Mad enough that I want to shame you, at least enough to make your next several minutes awkward. Given the chance I'm flipping you off, or simply shaking my head in acknowledgment of your shame.
I once got an A on an anthropology paper by analyzing body language in vehicles and different driving cultures in different places.
Rock on. Were there any instances of local parlance you found peculiar or surprising?
One insight was the different behavior when a light turned green with someone at the front making a left turn.
Where I grew up that person would just have to wait, but in the city where I went to college they’d let one car turn left before opposing traffic started.
It was a bit of a culture shock being honked at for obeying the actual law.
If you mean that the way I think, in Los Angeles when you're going to make a left turn at a light without a red arrow, AND there's enough clear road ahead on your left for you to turn into, you're expected to "post up" into the intersection while you wait for opposing traffic to clear. Which often it never does until the light turns yellow, or even red. Then you're expected to make your turn on the red, and the car behind you is allowed to follow you if they've got their front wheels over the line into the intersection. The cross traffic has to wait until you've cleared the box. "Two cars on a red." Of course if it's an especially large intersection, it's possible for the first car and second car to post up so far that a third car can get those wheels over, and all three can make their escape from the box after the light changes. But the cross traffic considers this rude.
because most things I would say to them are two beats long
LOL. Doesn't that mean it's completely ambiguous? There's plenty of awful things you could say in 2 beats.
I imagine that people flash twice because once could be a mistake, twice demonstrates intent. Three would make me wonder whether it's an ongoing flashing light.
LOL. Doesn’t that mean it’s completely ambiguous?
Well granted, it’s high-context communication. But I’m willing to bet you’d know what I meant if you were trying to merge and I double-tapped lights.
Three would make me wonder if it’s an ongoing flashing light.
Yeah IME three is less general, usually reserved for a problem or need for caution, like if someone is driving at night with all their lights out or a visible chassis/drivetrain issue, or there’s a cop/wreck ahead.
I’m willing to bet you’d know what I meant if you were trying to merge and I double-tapped lights.
Yeah if you're in the lane I'm merging into then two taps means "it's ok for you to merge in because there's enough room for you". That's more than 2 beats though.
Maybe you mean "o kay" or "yes merge" or "no stop" or "look out" or "nice car"
I think generally one long flash is a negative acknowledgement or warning, 2 quick flashes is positive, and 3 or more is back to negative
I dont think any of that is a generally accepted code.
Usually I point at them aggressively to get their attention and then start miming Gluck glucking to show them how much of a dumb whore I am.
I don't think it's working though, usually they just flip me off and look real angry.
I usually just honk “SORRY” in Morse code.
Sorry? Hell naw. Double down. Make it their fault. Get even more mad than them. Brandish your gun. Then brandish your second gun. Fire a warning shot towards their vehicle. Finish your beer in case you need to get out of the car. Challenge other driver to fisticuffs. Lose. Go home and explain to wife why you lost another fight. Get sad. Go to bar. Get really drunk. Pass out on stoop of the Wayne County Building. Miss work for the 3rd time this month. Get fired. Get kicked out of house by wife. Move into bachelor apartment. No artwork on walls. Only Kroger brand bread, condiments, and cheese slices in fridge. See kids every other weekend. Start going to AA meetings on a whim. Find new job. Hit the gym. Find new hobbies. Meet new girlfriend. Come to terms with faults and find peace through meditation and mindfulness. Experience growth. Drive to work one day. Accidentally cut a guy off. Double down...
I think the fact that there isn't a good way I think escalates a lot of otherwise defusable road rage situations.
Many people who get angry at strangers easily see someone apologizing as legitimatizing their anger, and people not apologizing as not understanding they are wrong. I don't think there is a good solution if people can't just accept that other people make mistakes and move on without any needed follow up.
Look ashamed and maybe do a single flash of my hazards.
Hazards = boobs
Just hit their car slightly with yours. You know, a love tap, to show them love and appreciation. Then show them your extended middle finger, signifying that you are standing with them in solidarity of thinking you’ve made a mistake. If you have a weapon with you, you can hold it up and show them to indicate that you are aware you could be perceived as a threat, but are making the effort to indicate that you aren’t.
Can't go wrong with the classic 🖕.
Usually just a wave, but I'll give a full blown "I have no idea what I'm doing!" shrug if I REALLY messed up.
I pretend to shoot myself in the temple.
Then I put the gun back in the glove box.
I don't, because being polite while driving is being unpredictable and that makes things more dangerous.
Instead I do what I want others to do which is just do a better job of paying attention and driving consistently. Making mistakes happen, just refocus and avoid making more.
This was me when I got off work today. I was trying to pass someone in front of me on the highway and signaled to move into the left lane. Did my usual couple seconds, saw nobody in my mirrors, and proceeded to move. Ended up cutting someone off that was in my blind spot. They honked and tried to run me off the road in response. I just kept driving like normal cause what happened happened. Dude followed me all the way back to my exit, so I decided instead of going home I'd drive through town. He eventually gave up and turned around to get back on the highway.
If I have some free time, I’ll follow them to their destination and knock on their window before they manage to slip away, and then apologize. Many seem like they’re in a hurry, despite just arriving, so I’ll just shout out my apology as I knock on their window. Depending on how bad I felt, I might try to repeat the apology next week, seeing whether I can find them on the road or their destination at the same time
Lean into it and just flick them off. Unless you’re in America, because there, that shit will let you killed.
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