this post was submitted on 23 Feb 2026
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Objectification, hate, rape threats: the politicians debating online abuse mean well, but to truly understand, they need to see what I see

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[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 14 points 2 hours ago

the politicians debating online abuse mean well

Hard disagree.

[–] Fizz@lemmy.nz 27 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

That sounds awful why would you keep using a platform like that?

[–] capt_kafei@lemmy.ca 10 points 2 hours ago (3 children)

Presumably because all of her friends do, and if she quits using it, then she'll be left out of her friends' group chats on IG and be out of the loop on jokes and memes between her friends. Might seem unimportant to an adult, but devastating for a teenager.

Your comment is similar to saying "cyberbullying isn't real, just turn off the PC". Because getting pushed out of social spaces on the internet leaves kids feeling isolated, and deprives them of access to shared spaces that their friends use to connect with each other.

One might say "They can just connect in person!" Presumably they do, but the internet is an inescapable part of modern life and that is unlikely to change. We should push for a better internet, rather than telling people to simply stop using it if they're suffering.

[–] Fizz@lemmy.nz 1 points 33 minutes ago

This article is to push legislation to kick her off. She is saying "it would be a good thing for under 16s to be banned from social media". So I think saying why do you feel this way but continue to engage is a fair point.

This is not the average experience so instead of everyone being punished it should be addressed on an individual level. Plenty of people have a healthy relationship with it.

[–] XiELEd@piefed.social 5 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

I used to be bullied hard in elementary for being neurodivergent and "living under a rock", and I did not know what was cool or uncool because I didn't have WiFi at home. To illustrate how ridiculous it was, I got bullied for playing Minecraft to the point that if I left my redstone blueprints on my table they would crumple it, and whenever I ate vegetables they would say, "ew vegetables!!!".

[–] capt_kafei@lemmy.ca 1 points 56 minutes ago

That sounds terrible. I'm sorry you were treated so badly.

[–] Kellenved@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

But what’s the cost of them being forced to use these online spaces to connect? Is it greater or less than the cost of not using them at all? Seems to me the balance is going farther and farther to the side of using them being worse than not every day. Body shaming, predators, addiction. We didn’t let kids smoke because it increased their social circle did we?

[–] capt_kafei@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 hour ago

I don't think kids should be "forced" to use social media to connect. I was trying to say that the current reality is that kids rely heavily on the internet for social connection, whether we like it or not, and telling kids to "just stop using it" is not going to help those that are struggling.

I think there is a need for better government regulation to make social media a healthier place for both kids and adults, but I'm not yet sure what the best implementation of that should look like. Leaving age verification to private companies has already resulted in damaging data breaches and will continue to do so.

Many people advocate for a social media ban for kids under 16, but the predictably imperfect implementation of that means that some kids can easily bypass facial verification and continue using social media, while others cannot and get excluded. I'm reminded of a quote from this article:

One parent told the Guardian their 15-year-old daughter was “very distressed” because “all her 14 to 15-year-old friends have been age verified as 18 by Snapchat”. Since she had been identified as under 16, they feared “her friends will keep using Snapchat to talk and organise social events and she will be left out”.

We need a way to regulate social media that is both privacy-preserving and also avoids excluding or isolating kids. Maybe some kind of ban for under 16s is the right path, but at a minimum, it needs secure identity verification provided as a service by the government, where your identifying information is never visible to the private companies running the platforms. Because they will fuck it up or abuse it.

Maybe instead of a full ban, we should instead ban advertising targeting youth, and ban algorithmic feeds & suggested content for kids. Make it so teens can only see posts from people they follow, in chronological order, so they eventually run out of new things to see and close the app for the day.

[–] Lorindol@sopuli.xyz 13 points 2 hours ago

This young woman is an exceptional writer. Not many her age can achieve such coherency and well laid structure in longer essays.

I hope she will continue using her skills and keep fighting against this new rise of misogyny.

[–] Kellenved@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 hours ago

Hopefully the next generation of girls and boys growing up just never starts using these shit platforms and they all collapse under their own bullshit in the next few years. Social media is absolutely not necessary and is actively detrimental to good health.

[–] ilinamorato@lemmy.world 76 points 5 hours ago (2 children)

the politicians debating online abuse mean well

Let me stop you there

[–] lemmyng@piefed.ca 1 points 2 minutes ago

The politicians debating online abuse claim to mean well.

[–] eager_eagle@lemmy.world 46 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

I'd give her a pass for being 15

[–] ilinamorato@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago

That's fair. She'll get it.

[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 46 points 4 hours ago

NEVER use social media that requires your personal information. Try not to use it at all.

This is a voluntary social disease. It’s not necessary.

[–] BigTrout75@lemmy.world 6 points 2 hours ago

I heard a comedian once compare the Internet to driving in traffic. A lot of people in the Internet treat each other like crap. I would argue that it's even promoted on some platforms. I don't see this changing.

[–] Mulligrubs@lemmy.world 8 points 4 hours ago

She doesn't know the half of it. She's a good kid

[–] artyom@piefed.social 6 points 4 hours ago (4 children)

I empathize but what does she want? People are assholes. They're assholes on social media and they're assholes everywhere else.

[–] XLE@piefed.social 12 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago) (2 children)

If only we could hold social media's billionaires accountable or something. Unfortunately, that is impossible, and we can and should never imagine a better world.

(It's kind of interesting that in a thread about Flock surveillance, people are talking about destroying the nodes. While in a thread about a girl getting abused online, there's a whole lot more defeatism all around.)

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago

I generally want to make billionaires pay, just as a general rule.

But I don't see this one specific instance being their fault.

We used to burn women alive if they knew how to do math. Since that time, things have gotten a little bit better. But not much.

People are assholes. All around you are assholes. These assholes go online and continue to be assholes.

[–] artyom@piefed.social -2 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

There's a little thing called "free speech". Govt doesn't have the power to regulate speech.

[–] XLE@piefed.social 4 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Sorry what? Tech billionaires don't have to enable the free speech of sexually harassing a child online.

And if your argument is that sexually harassing a child online is "free speech" - and that's the best argument you have - that's not a good argument.

[–] artyom@piefed.social 1 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 12 minutes ago)

My argument is that it's illegal for the govt to regulate such speech.

What kind of accountability were you referring to? Were you expecting tech billionaires to hold themselves accountable?

[–] deltaspawn0040@lemmy.zip 30 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Well, uh... I think she wants people to get better. Like all of us.

[–] Goatboy@lemmy.today 6 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Best we can do is find new ways to be assholes.

[–] kurwa@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

Moderation? All mainstream social media has done away with it and blatantly allows that stuff to happen.

[–] jtrek@startrek.website 1 points 2 hours ago

Platforms could moderate their content. They choose not to.

[–] MetalSlugX@piefed.social -4 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago) (4 children)

In no way discounting her experience, but it's almost like she's a woman and not a man and she sees things from the woman's perspective.

It's a cruel reality, and without having to do a battle of the sexes comparison, everybody gets this bullshit, regardless of gender identity or sex.

Ever been a man and walked into a woman's online space and see the bullshit that goes on there, the horrible accusations, derogatory dialogue? Ever been falsely accused of sexual impropriety by a woman who's just looking to hold power?

People are assholes, and when you go on a platform filled with assholes, they're going to be assholes. Solution, stop going to those places and live in the real world.

[–] Montagge@lemmy.zip 14 points 3 hours ago

Ever been a man and walked into a woman's online space

Yes, and it's miles better than most men's online spaces

[–] carotte@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 hour ago

it's almost like she's a woman and not a man and she sees things from the woman's perspective.

yeah right, how dare she!!!!!!!! the audacity of females these days, talking about their problems. unbelievable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you’re no better than the shitheads this article is about. fuck you and your "both sides" nonsense.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Solution, stop going to those places and live in the real world.

Agreed with you until this point. You realize the people online are the same people from real life, right?

[–] MetalSlugX@piefed.social 0 points 1 hour ago

That's not how it works, perhaps you might want to close your apps for a few weeks and live in the real world and then you will realize it is nothing like the online spaces.

[–] WolfmanEightySix@piefed.social 1 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

I might be wrong but it just seems like you stopped short of saying “not all men”. Did you forget that bit?

[–] MetalSlugX@piefed.social 2 points 1 hour ago

I would encourage you to read what is said and try to understand it, versus taking this tired, feeble, accusatory approach.