this post was submitted on 01 Mar 2026
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badposting

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I'll just bring some fireworks and LED toys and everyone will think I'm a great sorceress. That's when I sell 'em kool-aid in fancy bottles and take all the gold shillings they have. MUAHAHAHAHA sicko-fem

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[–] Carl@hexbear.net 15 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

You could do that now! More Americans are succumbing to medieval peasant brain every day you-are-a-serf

[–] TankieTanuki@hexbear.net 11 points 3 weeks ago

Potions allowed this incredible transformation

alex-no-supplements alex-supplements

[–] autism_2@hexbear.net 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] microfiche@hexbear.net 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Only the old one chocked full of caffeine tho please. That was the good stuff. Spent so many nights on a kitchen line drinking four loko and cooking food for strangers. Good times.

[–] chgxvjh@hexbear.net 3 points 3 weeks ago

I think you would have an easier time selling them now than to medieval suckers.

[–] Flyberius@hexbear.net 7 points 3 weeks ago

Fun fact, Henry VIII loved it when people were sick around him, and he'd try to make up portions to make them feel better, like a fucking child.

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I would just take a bunch of guns with me and take over the world before anyone could stop me

Also, grow some dank-ass cave weed

[–] chgxvjh@hexbear.net 6 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

What you really need is a blue Corvette

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I have a white one, does that count?

[–] chgxvjh@hexbear.net 5 points 3 weeks ago

Does it shoot out the doors?

[–] take_five_moments@hexbear.net 7 points 3 weeks ago

kool aid would prob kill a medieval peasant

[–] KuroXppi@hexbear.net 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I couldn't. My potions are too potent for the average traveller

[–] 9to5@hexbear.net 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Im not average though. IM literally built differently.

[–] KuroXppi@hexbear.net 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Oh okay you can have one of my potions then

[–] 9to5@hexbear.net 3 points 3 weeks ago

FUCK YEAH . I LOVE STRONG POTIONS

[–] microfiche@hexbear.net 4 points 3 weeks ago

snake oil salesmen are as old as history.

[–] Owl@hexbear.net 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] HexReplyBot@hexbear.net 1 points 3 weeks ago

I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

[–] JustSo@hexbear.net 3 points 3 weeks ago

back in time and sell bogus "potions" to ancient and medieval suckers who think magic is real

yeah I have some regrets about how I spent 2020 and the subsequent years as well.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 2 points 3 weeks ago

Those people are still around. Look at all those supplement ads on TV. That's all nothing but 21st century Snake Oil.