Shitty Shitty Bang Bang
this post was submitted on 08 Mar 2026
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There's something tragic about Cybertruck owners, and it's nothing to do with Elon.
They seem to be wildly impressed by their vehicle doing the most mediocre things that any AWD vehicle can do.
They're just coping with the fact they spent 6 figures on this giant piece of shit so they convince themselves their investment was worth it because truck go brrr
Yeah, at this point they know they got conned, and they either have to admit that or double down and act wildly impressed at its ability to, like, drive on an unpaved road.
I read a while back that many of them were shocked the cyber truck didn't fit in regular parking spaces. In other words, these are people that, for the most part, have never owned a large pickup before. The obvious conclusion is that they bought it for cred or because they think it looks cool, not because they actually need a vehicle that size.
That's a common theme, yes. They've clearly never owned a pickup truck, and don't realise what they have is actually pretty bad by pickup truck standards.
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A cyber truck does not actually qualify as a truck. Their owners do, on the other hand, qualify as complete douche canoes.
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I've probably done more work, driven more off road, been through more serious terain using a 2 door fwd hatchback and a trailer made with a 70s civic axle than the entirety of cybertruck owners combined.
That said I wonder what percentage of cucktruck owners could put tire chains on in less than a hour without the help of AI. I'm guessing <1%.
They absolutely can't do the things other AWD vehicles can do, though. They get shown up regularly by cars that cost under 20k.
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... Elon said he was gonna put monopropellant / cold gas thrusters from the Dragon capsule into the Roadster, at one point.
Musk said the production version will be revealed later this year ahead of the start of production in 2025 and that it will have the previously announced SpaceX package, which will use cold gas thrusters to help the car accelerate and also “fly”— or hover for short distances.
“I think it has a shot at being the most mind-blowing product demo of all time,” Musk said.
Its almost like this guy just fucking says shit, snd idiots believe him, for some reason, even though he's got a well established track record of lying about things that make basically no sense to lie about....
"I'm a world class Diablo player."
... as well as an entire solid decade of making grandiose business / product promises, and then delivering basically 1% of what he promised.
AutoPilot/Full Self Drive is totally real guys, it'll be perfect in a year or two... for a fucking decade.
Dude's blown up or otherwise destroyed about half as many heavy lift launch vehicles as the entire Apollo program, and so far hasn't even achieved orbit, much less with a payload, muchless tested the orbital refueling that his entire Starship system totally fails without.
Remember how we were gonna have rockets replace private jets?
Remember how the Boring company was gonna pay for itself by selling the dirt it dug up as bricks?
How's Hyperloop doing these days?
Isn't 0 to 60mph in 1 sec equivalent to ~2.7g
Kind of dangerous considering Saturn V reached a maximum of 4g during its first stage burn
Do people really believe this shit?
Yeah, that is a particularly funny aspect of the whole point to point rocket thing.
It would only even theoretically be safe for basically trained military pilots and astronauts.
You shove a bunch of random rich assholes onto one?
Heart attacks galore, basically.
Aside from every other stupid aspect of such a stupid idea, I'm curious where he thought people were going to be able to get hydrazine to refuel the thruster.
Oh god that hadn't even occured to me.
Yeah... yeah.
I dunno, send it back to the dealer, have them do it lol?
I'm sure car mechanics will just be a-ok with handling hydrazine, rofl!
I can't even find barely any independent mechanic that'll touch a gas-electric hybrid, they're too 'complicated', apparently.
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He has no idea about most of what he's talking about, still makes ever grandiose claims.
The rockets exploding is differen than the rest. It's literally rocket science and blowing up a bunch of test vehicles is kinda par for the course, and SpaceX has actually been pretty sucessful overall.
But that has zero to do with Musk.
But that has zero to do with Musk.
Exactly. SpaceX has been successful despite Musk
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The vehicle is only for showing off and definitely not designed for real off-road use, but the driver caused most of the water damage by entering the flood at such high speed. You're not supposed to wade at 20 mph unless you're in a hovercraft
Lol strong "I don't want buyer's regret" energy from this guy. Or maybe "I am way out of my league when evaluating how good something is" with perhaps a dash of "boots are delicious".
Like he literally mentions that he can hear water sloshing around in the frame somewhere but then immediately concludes that it'll probably go away on its own sometime in the future. I had a period in my life when I was like that. I consider it my "I had no fucking idea how naive I was or how things worked or how to take care of them" phase, and I was the last person anyone should have taken advice about anything from.
I wouldn't trust any vehicle to be safe for wading unless it was explicitly designed from the outset for that purpose. There are offroad vehicles with snorkels, and double seals around everything like doors, electronics & batteries which are designed to go through deep water.
The cyberturd... not so much regardless of the lies Elon used to sell it. I would not be surprised if there is small print in the warranty which basically tells people to take a hike if they attempt to use it in the ways Elon has described.
Per the Cybertruck warranty:
"This New Vehicle Limited Warranty does not cover any vehicle damage or malfunction directly or indirectly caused by, due to, or resulting from...
... The environment or an act of God, including, but not limited to, exposure to sunlight, airborne chemicals, tree sap, animal or insect droppings, ... water, contamination, lightning and other environmental conditions"
So, if you get all bricked up in the car wash, you're now the proud owner of a $100,000 rust brick.
The only vehicle I would even chance driving after being fully submerged would be a 90s Hylux. Beyond that, nah, water damage is usually a death sentence for anything without protected electronics like an actual boat.
Likewise the only vehicle I would drive after being hit by a wrecking balls would be a 90s hylux
Okay so if you're going to buy a stupid ass truck that's for show, not for actually using for truck things...
Why not buy a Range Rover?
- Similarly expensive
- Last 2 generations (you know, the ones known for being luxury and looks above utility) have 90 CM wading depth.
- Actually luxurious
- Not any less reliable than a CyberDumpster (don't compare it to a Toyota though)
- Actually capable of off-roading, not that anyone's going to take one off road considering the sticker price.
I'm not going to include "does not support a nazi" here, that must be a con for cybertruck buyers.
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People of little faith, it's just 1 over-the-air update away from becoming a spaceship! /s
The best part of winter in Canada is seeing all these dumpster cars disappear when the real snow falls. Though I did spot one not that long ago:
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I didn’t know the cybertruck was a Tesla/Oceangate collab.
uh .. let that sink in?
ok
The only "question" is why would you believe what Elon "promised" at any point?
Teslas can jump or maybe "fly" a short distance by 2016 according to Elon Musk. And no one is like: that boy might me lying
Because way too many people think he's a genius because he is filthy rich.
It is a metal coffin, and i don't know how mass media managed to ignore this for so long. The part on the electronics fried, the water inside the vehicle's parts and the bolts losening and unscrewing completely.
So, uh, the standard Toyota takoma did good in the water and in the snow immediately afterwards, uh.
I think by now, most paying attention know that, anything promised should be questioned vigourously.
Finally, the one thing missing from our modern day sci-fi Star Trek future was a Self Destruct built in to all our vehicles!
💥😎💥
Fucking "boat mode"? 😂
I will never not smile at these lumps of shit falling apart.
If anyone still believes in this “truck” they are already lost.
We really should encourage all Cybertrukkk owners to test this 'feature'.
Anything can be a boat when out in water, it's a matter of which boat it is. Most turns Titanic mode.
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I guess we found a way to get rid of this ugly truck. Convince them it is a boat?
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