this post was submitted on 22 Apr 2026
-2 points (25.0% liked)

Ask Lemmy

40267 readers
1119 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, toxicity and dog-whistling are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !uspolitics@lemmy.world


7) No Hit-and-Run questions.
Please don't delete your post for no apparent reason. If you plan on deleting a question later, say so in the post, or if you feel that you have a good reason to remove it, message a mod beforehand. It's not fair to the ones who took their time to answer, and it's not in the spirit of the community.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
top 14 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 months ago

Because I haven't mastered mitosis yet

[–] Asafum@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

Nearing 40 in an area with nothing but old rich people, currently renting one of their garage "apartments."

Atypical "introverted nerd" type, as in I work in a factory as opposed to the tech field, and am never around people like myself.

On a 1-10 scale of appearance I'm like 2.5

But worst of all, my greatest possible sin, I never want to live with a dog. According to the dating profiles I see that eliminated 99.9999999% of them.

As to why I'll continue to be single aside from all the above, I gave up ~2 years ago. My last relationship was 10 years ago. Some of us just aren't desirable to anyone and I just have to accept that.

[–] MutualInformation@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

If you use an AI frequently and many different questions and answers are linked to your profile, it can perform a kind of meta-analysis.

According to the model, I tend to be attuned to:

  • cognitive compatibility (tolerating ambiguity, thinking on different levels)
  • emotional resonance (emotional openness, enabling closeness)
  • low neediness and the ability to form bonds
  • authenticity without pretense
  • the ability to be quietly close
  • resolving conflicts clearly but without being invasive
  • depth without cynicism

These combinations are rare. I have not mentioned aesthetics. The more short-term relationships I have experienced, the harder it becomes to form new ones.

[–] HollowV@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

Scared of dating and getting my heart broken again. Too much pain for me to handle. And I'm not where I want to be in life right now. So I'm focusing on myself (mental and phyical health) and building my future career. It's been the most peaceful years of my life since my break up.

[–] Iconoclast@feddit.uk 1 points 2 months ago

9 year relationship ended 6 months ago and I don't feel like getting into new one anymore.

[–] zabadoh@ani.social 0 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm married, but it's a lot of work.

There are definitely pluses and minuses, but not being lonely is a big plus.

Happiness is transitory personal thing, and marriage and/or life partners won't change that.

[–] cloud_wanderer@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

I agree with u.

[–] Battle_Masker@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Everyone I asked for partnership said no

[–] Staff@piefed.world 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

How many have you asked? You might have to up those numbers

[–] AverageEarthling@feddit.online 0 points 2 months ago

I was married til I was 38 (now 48). Got divorced, kids were grown, so I dated. A LOT. I've come to the conclusion that if you are single after 40, you are a basket case. EVERYone that I dated was crazy. Fun, but crazy. I'm just too old for that now. lol. I'd rather read books and hang out with my cat. And yes, I realize people probably think I'm crazy too. #crazycatgentlemen

[–] Vinny_93@lemmy.world -1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Cause I got married. It's not that different from being single.

[–] cloud_wanderer@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Vinny_93@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

At some point all the fun stuff from a new relationship dies down and most of it just turns into a drag. The deepest conversations you'll have are about what to eat or whether you'll be home at a regular time.

I know this is not the case in all marriages but most of them that end in divorce are merely because it started as something fun, marriage seemed the next logical step and then you're sort of locked into it, longing back to the excitement of getting to know each other. Being single is pretty much like that unless you never meet new people you have a fun couple of weeks with before never seeing each other again.

[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca -1 points 2 months ago

Why do you need to know?