The lighter side of ADHD
I love lists.
I also love forgetting about my list. And being judged by my list. And getting annoyed by the asshole who made this list and why didnt hey write enough information for to know what "Tess email today" is suppose to mean and fuck it, Tess is getting a goddamn email whether she wanted one or not!
Well, that's enough for one day.
Me: Makes a list
Also me: Checks list "I've got time before I absolutely have to do this one, and I don't feel like doing it/the weather's not right for this/I don't have enough money for this right now."
Later me: Never checks list again
There's literally nothing neurotypical about Odo. Hell he doesn't even neurons; he's goop.
I work in mental health and my former boss who's supposed to understand these things seriously said "you should just use a calendar". She also told a staff member with anxiety that he just needed breathing excersizes 🤷
Different things for different people. My partner tried and hated lists, but our shared calendar seems to be going well. Not forcing yourself to check it at specific times seems to be the key for us.
I had to drop an otherwise decent therapist because while I was in the middle of a mental health crisis, I asked him to help me make an appointment to see a prescribing psychiatrist and he told me to do it myself.
Also he voted for Trump.
I had one that said I shouldn't worry about the current political climate because it "doesn't affect me". Anyone that bereft of empathy should have a different job.
Yikes and yikes!
Jfc I shudder to think of a Nazi in any position of power over the vulnerable
I worked in a community mental health hospital as a therapist in the run up to Trump one and and there was a small but vocal minority of pro Trump therapists
It was really strange. Our hospital was contingent on Medicaid for like 80% of the budget. Talking with them more revealed a pretty sharp disdain for the clients we had and poor people in general. This was extra weird bc we generally made 20-30k there despite having masters degrees and phds
It was an absolute shock because up until I found out he was a Trump supporter everything about him - his bearing, his words, his behavior - all seemed like a perfectly decent guy who genuinely cares about people. He saved my life, mentored me, helped me manage the process of ending my homelessness and going to college. I felt so betrayed when I tried to tell him how awful Trump was and he told me that was just democrat propaganda and I shouldn't fall for it. I was willing to let it slide because I was in no position to lose my therapist, but after he outright refused to do his job, I had to ask myself why I was still tolerating his presence in my life. I'm glad I did the right thing and managed to pull through without him.
If checking the calendar isn't incorporated into a daily routine, it's obviously not going to work. It's a shame your former boss was so disconnected from the experiences of those they're supposed to be helping.
If it weren't for my anxiety, I'd never remember anything. That, and putting things to remind myself in places that I know I'll look. Lately I've been putting my keys on a particular table, next to my medicines, so that I remember to take the medicines before leaving for work. (Note - I tend to forget my meds on weekends when I don't go anywhere, but it works 5 out of 7 days!) Sometimes the feeling of anxiety, the thought of, "Have I forgotten anything?" compulsively makes me check my pockets and look around. Apparently I've worried myself enough about forgetting lunch, that the "look around" routine has started to include a fridge check every morning.
Anxiety sucks, and sometimes it amplifies my ADHD, but other times it helps fight the battle against it. I almost fear treating my anxiety, out of worry that my executive dysfunction might get worse. Ahh, the neuro-spicy life.
I told my doctor I have difficulties going to bed at good time and have a hard time turning my brain off. She just gave me a piece of paper with some recommendations for better sleep like "dont drink coffee late" or "dont use screen or TV an hour before bed"... Like as if I didn't know that already but my fat ass just sits here doing nothing while my brain screams "JUST DO SOMETHING FFS!!!" While i watch YouTube video number 258 this evening and its midnight and I'm trying not understanding why I can't just go to bed....
"JUST DO SOMETHING FFS!!!”
Take 50mg weed edibles and stay up till 4am gaming? Sounds good to me.
I slept on a sofa for over five years because of this basically (though the reason stems from something different). I figured if I don't do a sleeping routine I can just pretend I'm not going to sleep and then eventually "take a nap" on the sofa after browsing the internet for some hours. That has worked well, even though it's against all the sleep hygiene advice stuff, but hey whatever works... I only stopped sleeping on the sofa since we moved and I could make a nest in the closet
That sounds dubious af, but if it works it works. I was a Futurama Sleeper for years so I can't judge
Haha, I've done this, too! My brain only wants to sleep when it has shit to do I guess. Or something about napping on the couch is easier than falling asleep in the bed. Luckily for me, falling asleep is the problem, not staying asleep. So when I wake up from the couch and get up to go to the bed, I'm already sleepy enough for the trick to have worked.
Actually i love mapping out plans and projects. Doing those things is a different matter entirely though 🫠
I mean, its genuinely very helpful, especially early on in a project. But then there's other hurdles and limited time and financial constraints and more immediate concerns, etc, etc.
I do find that people - ADHD and Neurotypical alike - use this mix of "Help me do it!" and "Stop giving me useless advice!" to goad people into doing work on their behalf. And then the "Fuck you for suggesting that!" tends to come when the person you're badgering isn't willing/able to keep carrying your load.
Yep thats me, its a a problem.
Painfully accurate. Worst of all. They are right
Firstly, shut up and dont tell me what to do. Secondly, I already have a list, I can't function without it
isnt he mostly OCD though he has an obsession with "ORDER" like his other changelings.
I made so many lists.
I have lists for days, but i never check them 😞
How do y'all build routine? I can't for the life of me do anything routine
Did you try making a list for checking your lists?
He's making a list, he's checking it twice,
He feels really proud, cause his list is so nice.
Soon it will be lost in, a piiiiile!
I keep a minimal number of lists, like three or fewer, and put them somewhere in my way like on the fridge door so they remind me to do the thing.
It ups the chance of doing the stuff in a reasonable time frame from like 10% to 50% so a pretty significant improvement!
That's the secret. No need to make a list if there's no plan.
20 years pass without accomplishing anything
Shit.
One doesn't have to accomplish anything great to live comfortable life. Hell, most people never accomplish anything great. That's kinda the baseline.
I can't figure out where that has come from, that constant pressure to accomplish something. Why can't we just enjoy ourselves? If something happens during that, good. If not, still good.
Considering the context, I think there's a misunderstanding. That doesn't mean "becoming rich/powerful/noteworthy". It more likely means "Barely managing the essentials" - buying food, paying bills on time, sleeping enough. Everything in life becomes a struggle to overcome one's own resistance, which in turn makes every subsequent task that much harder. The accomplishments you talk of are fantastic dreams compared to just making it through the day.
Fair point, even the most basic tasks can become herculean effort during the worst times
Not meeting arbitrary goals for the sake of it is fine, but personally I’m uncomfortable with not wanting to accomplish or do anything. It doesn’t have to be constantly, and I don’t have any illusions about anything I do being permanent or renowned, but I at least want to try to make a difference for the people and things that matter to me.
Yeppppp
Now perhaps we could find a way for me to actually check a list
What worked for me is giving myself a stationary fetish and writing everything in a special weekly planner that I designed myself and take everywhere I go
People ask me why I can't just check my phone? The answer is fuck you I don't want to. I'll let you know if I'm free on 12 Mai after I've faffed about with pencils and paper for ten minutes.
Stationary is so beautiful until I try to do something with it, then it becomes a child’s scribblings! Let’s not speak of what happened with the washi tape…
Oh internet friend, this pains me to hear because I see here an aspect of myself.
Your scribblings are beautiful! Just make marks, and enjoy the feeling. Your marks are already perfect because they're testament to your intentions. That's all they have to be.
I made a list but I lost it and I keep remembering I should look for it but only when I'm not near where I lost it.
I have a pile of lists as tall as I am
Make a list, don't forget to add side quests, you can also add tasks that you have already completed in order to feel a sense of accomplishment
Okay. I made a list of the things I should do. Writing this list was on it. But I lost it. And now I forgot how to write.