this post was submitted on 03 May 2026
160 points (81.2% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

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all 49 comments
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[–] spacegoat@lemmy.world 19 points 1 day ago

Ah so that’s why it’s called Lemmy.

As in, lemmy kill myself real quick

[–] spirinolas@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

There's more where that came from

What a horrible time to have eyes

[–] Maxxus@sh.itjust.works 23 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Men be over here bragging about eating a woman until she squirts all over his face, then balk at this?

Get out of here.

[–] imadethis@fedinsfw.app 12 points 2 days ago

TBF the image of squirting in porn is just watersports with a different name. It allows them to enjoy something taboo while calling it something 'acceptable.' This is just straight up talking about dried, crusty must being cleaned by tongue.

Btw, you don't even notice it.

[–] sfxrlz@lemmy.world 150 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Alright. I just opened the app

[–] rslogix89@lemmy.world 90 points 3 days ago
[–] Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works 57 points 3 days ago

You really can tell Violet's posts the moment you see them, can't you?

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 19 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (3 children)

I am just imagining a dude so obese, he pisses pure butter and shits chocolate fudge. Making them cum means getting a hot shot of Cinnabon icing on your face. The most delicious man you'll ever fuck.

[–] xavier666@lemmy.umucat.day 23 points 2 days ago

Sir, your lemmy privileges have been irrevocably rescinded for one week for writing that comment.

[–] Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Why does your brain work like this?

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 10 points 2 days ago
[–] imadethis@fedinsfw.app 3 points 2 days ago

What's the old joke about men not having a dick made of chocolate that ejaculates money? I now have a new reason to slot in.

[–] MyRobotShitsBolts@lemmy.world 59 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Of all the days I chose to be literate, I choose this.

[–] lastweakness@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Damn, I wish I could choose when to be literate. That sounds like a cool superpower

[–] Salamanderwizard@lemmy.world 14 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Both a curse and blessing from the mad gods.

[–] Klear@quokk.au 10 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Don't blame old uncle Sheo for this degeneracy.

[–] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 6 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

You call it degeneracy, we call it a Monday

[–] vagrancyand@sh.itjust.works 56 points 3 days ago

(·•᷄‎ࡇ•᷅ )

[–] Derpenheim@lemmy.zip 44 points 3 days ago
[–] RaoulDuke25@lemmy.dbzer0.com 36 points 3 days ago

Never change violet08

[–] SethTaylor@lemmy.world 44 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] JakoJakoJako13@piefed.social 42 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Everybody clap for Seth here! Just read for the first time!

[–] SethTaylor@lemmy.world 17 points 3 days ago

😂 Oh... my god

Really putting the horny into hornyposting I see 😆

[–] BluJay320@lemmy.blahaj.zone 25 points 3 days ago (2 children)

The amount of willpower it’s taking to not hit the block button is a level I didn’t even know I had.

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 23 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Violet08 is one of the few accounts keeping this place alive.

[–] imadethis@fedinsfw.app 0 points 2 days ago

Shitposts was alive and well before violet, and it will be alive and well when the cia gets bored.

[–] floquant@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 3 days ago

Morbid curiosity keeps the internet going

[–] AugustusBeauvais@lemmy.world 26 points 3 days ago

Glad to hear you're enjoying yourself dear, please be safe.

[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Eh it’s just a lil salty, luckily it doesn’t taste like larger quantities of piss. Pretty inoffensive.

[–] Nora@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Yeah, I can't believe im saying this but a little piss is really not that big of a deal... If you've ever sucked dick before you probably have had piss in your mouth even if you didn't realize it... I mean, I'm not into piss, like, at all. So I prefer to not really think about it but... Here we are.

[–] SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 3 days ago

Yeah, someone was getting a new mattress once, and I knew another person who wanted to try watersports really really badly ... I always said I'd try anything once, so I put the ingredients together and we just went for it.

It was fun for maybe 10 seconds. After 5 minutes I just couldn't get over the smell and called a halt to it all ... when it's all over you it makes it worse. Texture was interesting though, I thought it'd be like water but it's way more slippery.

Anyway, long story short, in very small quantities it's not unpleasant ... more than a few drops is nasty though IMO.

[–] Grail@multiverse.soulism.net 8 points 2 days ago

Amazing post, just sent this to My beloved

[–] Gonzako@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

Aint that just precum?

[–] SpruceBringsteen@lemmy.world 19 points 3 days ago (2 children)

jokes on you it is crab leg butter

[–] Denalduh@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago

BOOP! Droppin’ holes in the butter.

[–] Earthman_Jim@lemmy.zip 2 points 3 days ago
[–] thesohoriots@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago

But when the rest of the first lick tastes like battery acid :3

[–] sangeteria@lemmy.ml 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

you might have a bit of a thing for piss (and that's lovely for you!)

I Don't.

[–] Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I'm trying to think of something violet doesn't have a thing for.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Austere abstinence?

Edit: ASCETICISM was the word I was looking for. Phew. There it is.

[–] LemmyFeed@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 3 days ago
[–] new_world_odor@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] felykiosa@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] new_world_odor@lemmy.world 0 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

im gonna say what i want when someone thinks its okay to shove kinks in my face with literal zero warning. groomer behavior tbh