this post was submitted on 06 May 2026
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[–] synapse1278@lemmy.world 135 points 6 days ago (31 children)

I've seen this knife on YouTube. It vibrate at ultrasound frequency that makes it sharper than the blade really is and the ingredients don't stick to it, or so they claim. If it really does perform as demonstrated, it's pretty cool, but still overpriced.

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 160 points 6 days ago (17 children)

If all it does is vibrate why does it need a firmware update?

[–] disorderly@lemmy.world 71 points 6 days ago (1 children)

The incredibly silly true answer is that the software industry's love for "deploy early, deploy often" has led to all embedded devices shipping with over-the-air (OTA) update support even when it barely makes sense. The earliest units of a given product run will ship with a minimally viable product build that has lots of bugs, but solid OTA.

Fun anecdote: I had a TV backlight die after about 3 years, and the root cause was a shitty embedded app that incorrectly regulated the voltage for the LED strips.

[–] bright@piefed.social 26 points 6 days ago (32 children)

I don't think that actually answers OP's question. If all it does is vibrate then it doesn't need any software. It presumably just has a single button that turns vibration on/off and maybe cycles through vibration levels. A dumb circuit without even a single chip in it could do that.

[–] OwOarchist@pawb.social 28 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Ah, but what if you want it to vibrate to the beat of your favorite song? Did you think about that?

[–] errer@lemmy.world 13 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf 12 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (2 children)

No, it's not a poop knife!

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[–] disorderly@lemmy.world 15 points 6 days ago (2 children)

I'm just guessing here, but it's probably for battery management and wireless charging, which are tricky problems you're not gonna solve with a 555. I generally trust EEs to not put MCUs where they aren't needed, so this must have been the cheapest/easiest option.

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[–] Brkdncr@lemmy.world 71 points 6 days ago

How would it vibrate without wpa3 support?

[–] mycodesucks@lemmy.world 26 points 6 days ago (1 children)

It doesn't...

But the kind of people who are impressed by a vibrating knife are also likely to be impressed by the ability to update firmware. They don't know what firmware DOES, they just know it's modern.

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[–] KraeuterRoy@feddit.org 17 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Don't you think it would vastly improve your stabbing experience if the knife could vibrate the Halloween theme while you're at it?

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[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 9 points 6 days ago (1 children)

maybe scientists discovered new frequencies?

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[–] synapse1278@lemmy.world 36 points 6 days ago (4 children)
[–] OwOarchist@pawb.social 27 points 6 days ago (3 children)

we've engineered the bolster connection to withstand up to 50 lbs. of pushing force, so you can chop without worry. (Our human arms could only muster 30 lbs. This is why we're nice to the robot.)

Noodle-armed motherfuckers could only manage 30 lbs of force with their arms?

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[–] NottaLottaOcelot@lemmy.ca 14 points 6 days ago (2 children)

So you’re saying it’s ideal for murder because it brings home less damning evidence?

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 22 points 6 days ago (1 children)

"Hmm, the stab wounds show that this guy was stabbed by an ultrasonic vibrating knife!"

"Really? Those must be rare, what can they sell, maybe a dozen of those per year?"

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[–] VoteNixon2016@lemmy.blahaj.zone 91 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] PrimeMinisterKeyes@leminal.space 14 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I'm getting flashbacks to the knife dildo from the movie "Seven."

probably NSFWThis scene

[–] Waraugh@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 6 days ago

This link is showing me how to increase the power of a small engine in a go cart. I’m still gonna watch it but it’s not what I was expecting.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 77 points 6 days ago
[–] Etterra@discuss.online 36 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I don't care if it's sharp enough to kill a god, it's still not worth it if it needs WiFi access.

[–] Holytimes@sh.itjust.works 11 points 6 days ago (2 children)

I unno killing a god is historically pretty damn expensive. Wifi access is a lot cheaper then your soul, first born, village or eternal damnation.

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[–] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 16 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Hello I’m a software engineer for this knife! Kitchenaid’s newest model, the Ultrasonic Edge™! It is forged with self-healing nano-steel from Japan, the blade can automatically correct small edge imperfections over time, keeping it razor sharp longer than a traditional knife. The button on the handle cycles through several prep modes to assist in slicing and dicing. My favorite is heated mode which heats the blade to 28 C to assist in slicing frozen meats and vegetables. The knife occasionally receives software updates through its charging block, adding new cutting profiles and improving its internal motion sensors that track hand positioning and cutting rhythm. Tiny embedded LEDs along the spine glow softly to indicate blade temperature, battery life, or sanitation status after UV self-cleaning cycles. If you don’t have access to internet we can send you a usb device to install the software updates remotely. If you have any questions feel free to ask!

[–] ikidd@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 5 days ago (1 children)

God, I hope this is satire.

[–] mirshafie@europe.pub 6 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Satire is wasted on Lemmy.

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[–] _stranger_@lemmy.world 7 points 5 days ago

my questions:

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[–] infinitesunrise@slrpnk.net 35 points 6 days ago (5 children)

What the hell are you people doing buying this crap in the first place?

[–] Zink@programming.dev 27 points 6 days ago

I'm convinced that much of, if not most of, society sees technology in our personal lives as a way to (ideally) not have to learn anything or put in one bit of extra effort.

I've been getting my hands dirty and doing more things myself over the past few years, and ya know sometimes the journey is more impactful on you as a person than the destination is. Learning things and interacting with the world around you is good.

[–] nova_ad_vitum@lemmy.ca 14 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Ultrasonic cutting tech is really cool tbh. That doesn't mean the fucking thing has to be internet connected and have firmware updates .

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 5 points 5 days ago (4 children)

But it isn't? No serious chef would use this bullshit.

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[–] franklinovitch@lemmy.world 26 points 6 days ago (1 children)
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[–] imetators@lemmy.dbzer0.com 25 points 6 days ago (1 children)

450euro for a ultrasonic vibrating knife.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 9 points 6 days ago (4 children)

They used to be one in the hotel that I worked at and it definitely didn't have an app or internet connection you just pressed the button and it did its thing. What's the firmware for?

[–] Sabata11792@ani.social 11 points 5 days ago

Got to tell the advertising firm and the government how you cut your bread.

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[–] yermaw@sh.itjust.works 37 points 6 days ago

Every day we get a little closer

[–] BilSabab@lemmy.world 12 points 5 days ago (1 children)

i'm so behind times... why would anyone need firmware for a knife though? like for real - what do you accomplish with it?

[–] modus@lemmy.world 8 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Keeps it ultra sharp with blade angles calculated by the latest AI-generated honing algorithms.

Also, fuck your privacy. Let us in your home.

[–] BilSabab@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago

got it. thx. yikes

[–] billwashere@lemmy.world 7 points 5 days ago

Seems like it was just a few days ago I post an internet story about an over engineered toaster….

[–] BonkTheAnnoyed@piefed.blahaj.zone 15 points 6 days ago (3 children)

I mean, it's always worth having a couple of weird Bluetooth devices hanging around to hide passwords on when crossing borders.

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[–] PennyRoyal@sh.itjust.works 14 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I thought it had peaked when I had to put a hacked firmware onto my soldering iron

[–] pennomi@lemmy.world 16 points 6 days ago (7 children)

Huh, my soldering iron doesn’t even have an on switch, just “plugged in” or “not plugged in”. I’m not saying everything needs to be that simple but we sure do overcomplicate things in our devices.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 8 points 6 days ago (2 children)

why not? just solder an on switch into it

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