this post was submitted on 13 May 2026
171 points (100.0% liked)
Not The Onion
21567 readers
1041 users here now
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Please also avoid duplicates.
Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
So like deer decoys not "wolf robots"?
The machines move their heads from side to side while flashing LED lights from their eyes and tails to create a threatening, predatory appearance.
...
the company has developed upgraded versions mounted on wheels that can patrol routes and actively chase animals away.
Decoy robots
Sounds more like animatronics, akin to Chucky E Cheese.
Those would count as robots if they could react to your presence and chase you
Yeah but these things won't chase the bears.
For those wondering, this is the photo from the article.
What I pictured when I heard "Japanese Wolf Robots":
My disappointment is immeasurable 😩
I was reading with increasing trepidation, and was relieved when I got to the bit about them being harmless, for largely similar reasons.
But how will we tackle the robot wolf crisis??
By releasing the Metal Gear.
robot bears
Danger 5?
So much to hate about this world we live in. So much to despise. Every now and then though, you see a headline that makes you happy.
How do you say Hound of the Baskervilles in Japanese?
バスカヴィル家の犬
バスガスバクハツ？
yawns Call me when the bears are 100m tall and radioactive and the only way to stop them is to merge six robo wolves into a mega wolf.
Why don't they just build a voltron???
cause the pilots will just fuck around for 15 minutes as 5 lions until they finally form Voltron. 10 seconds and 1 sword slash later, the bear will be slashed in half. pisses people off
Or 20 minutes as 37 cars or whatever.
I actually had the car voltron when I was a kid. I can't remember if I ever saw the cartoon for it though
Not as bad as expected
Pretty sure what they actually need here is a strapping young Akita who goes on a quest across Japan to gather the strongest fighting dogs to from an army and push back the bear menace once and for all.
None in my village. I'm not sure if that's fortunate or unfortunate. We definitely have bears that come within a couple KM of my house.
Finally some uplifting news
In a weird coincidence, the Bizarre Beasts YouTube channel just came out with a video about what happened to Japan's real wolves.
Foiled by YouTube thumbnails.
hehehehe
The link text goes to the legitimate video, though.