this post was submitted on 01 Jun 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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(page 2) 50 comments
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[–] FUCKING_CUNO@lemmy.dbzer0.com 181 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] NONE_dc@lemmy.world 112 points 1 day ago

Tony lacks imagination.

[–] deacon@lemmy.world 15 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Or Tony is, like me, a human who takes pride in his work.

[–] a_non_monotonic_function@lemmy.world 10 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

Look, there isn't always going to be someone there kicking Tony's ass.

Tony better stfu.

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[–] unitedwithme@lemmy.today 15 points 17 hours ago

To get to the center of that Tootsie Pop, of course!

[–] mrmisses@lemmy.world 163 points 1 day ago (1 children)

For robot blow jobs, Tony. You fucking idiot.

[–] basxto@discuss.tchncs.de 46 points 23 hours ago (4 children)

you can do so much more with tongues

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 43 points 23 hours ago (2 children)
[–] mrmisses@lemmy.world 30 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Oh yeah forgot about rim jobs. Fucking Tony

[–] hemmes@lemmy.world 21 points 21 hours ago

Don’t forget the balls!

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[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 64 points 23 hours ago (5 children)

Imagine setting this this for a nice long dick lick every couple seconds until it's been an hour and you're just quivering from the sheer excitement that with the next lick or the one after that you're finally going to shoot the biggest ropes of your life and just at the point the ai embedded in it asks for your credit card information so it can charge you twenty bucks to cum?

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 16 points 18 hours ago

Eh that wouldn't work on me. Being told that I can't cum kinda causes it... And if I've been getting edged for a while, yeah vocals can be enough. Violently.

I guess I'd have cucked the machine? Is that a new sub-genre of kink? What a weird world we live in.

[–] edinbruh@feddit.it 49 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago) (2 children)

If this kind of Pay Per Cum business model worked, hypno content creators would have already capitalized on it

[–] hydrashok@sh.itjust.works 11 points 21 hours ago

Sponsored by OnlyFans.

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[–] Derpenheim@lemmy.zip 17 points 19 hours ago (1 children)
[–] swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 17 hours ago (1 children)
[–] backalleycoyote@lemmy.today 8 points 17 hours ago

I’d expect Cattle Decap level deathgrind or some Hot Topic grade incelcore with shit solos and too many calls to “open this fucking pit up”, no inbetween.

[–] aketawi@quokk.au 2 points 13 hours ago

so if you refuse to pay does it keep you gooning for the rest of eternity

[–] Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 6 points 21 hours ago

So, a cash machine?

[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 67 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Stamps. Flipping pages. Unattended ice cream. Windows. Linda.

[–] Zachariah@lemmy.world 36 points 1 day ago (3 children)
[–] wewbull@feddit.uk 14 points 22 hours ago (1 children)
[–] StarvingMartist@sh.itjust.works 6 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Always here for an aphex twin reference

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[–] laut_sprecher@feddit.org 13 points 1 day ago

And here i was operating windows with my mouse all this time…

[–] crazycraw@crazypeople.online 51 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Tony does not understand vaginas.

Don't be like Tony.

[–] basxto@discuss.tchncs.de 25 points 23 hours ago (1 children)
[–] sundray@lemmus.org 18 points 23 hours ago (3 children)
[–] 0ops@piefed.zip 16 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

✨ Abracadussy, you're now a pussy! ✨

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 13 points 18 hours ago (1 children)
[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 5 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Are you trying to steal @Kolanaki@pawb.social 's niche, or are you his alt?

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 8 points 16 hours ago (2 children)

Is this how you find out there's a whole community of furries and I'm not the only one? 🤔

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 2 points 11 hours ago

No, I iust thought you were the only sarcastic furry on Earth, apparently.

I'm very "intimately" familiar with furries.

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[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 2 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Japan the government? Or do we think our readers are top stupid to understand two words?

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[–] bl4ckp1xx13@lemmy.dbzer0.com 25 points 1 day ago

Tony too innocent for this world. 🥀

[–] CubitOom@infosec.pub 16 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

Bidets are about to see a new evolution.

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 4 points 16 hours ago

If this becomes mandatory, I'm leaving for the forests.

[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 7 points 22 hours ago

"I want it clean enough to eat off of!"

Japan, hold my Ramune.

[–] tacosanonymous@mander.xyz 9 points 20 hours ago

How much time ya got, buddy?

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Pushing ever closer to robot sex while their birth rate is falling off a cliff.

Of course, they're also working on artificial wombs, so who the hell knows where all this is leading?

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[–] BluJay320@lemmy.blahaj.zone 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Tony doesn’t know about the tootsie-pop, smh

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 8 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago)

Oh no reason. I just want a few of them ok

[–] CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago

God damn it Tony.

[–] CannedYeet@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago

It's to count how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop

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