this post was submitted on 10 Jun 2026
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privacy

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"Facebook Consumer Privacy User Profile Litigation Settlement Administrator has sent you $5.09 USD"

Yes I may have been on Facebook at one time, and yes they profited massively off of privacy abuse that oppressive dictators are literally jealous of, but after filling out numerous forms and responding to porrly written sketchy emails, and several years of litigation, look whose buying drink tonight baby!!!

All you privacy suckers here bitchin, and I'm just sittin here gettin paid.

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[–] mycodesucks@lemmy.world 25 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

No, seriously though.

The hilariously low joke amount from the movie is BARELY less than the actual settlement amount.

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 5 points 4 months ago

I'd sell your Mets stock. Can't be long before they go bankrupt with these payouts happening.

[–] homes@piefed.world 24 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 11 points 4 months ago

You must have been more violated.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 21 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I got $7.31 ! Time to retire

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Justice has been served. All wrongs have been righted!

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 1 points 4 months ago

No, I've seriously got it made. Yahoo! also just paid me another $8.12 a few days ago. Now I can almost buy a burrito!

[–] Th3D3k0y@lemmy.world 14 points 4 months ago

Sorry we sold your data for 340 million, we apologize by paying out 100m

[–] 404found@lemmy.zip 12 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I don't want to brag but there was a class action lawsuit against blue cross blue shield for market price manipulation. Blue cross settled. I had 7 years worth of claims and received $17

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

You trying to ruin my moment bro?

[–] 404found@lemmy.zip 2 points 3 months ago

Haha I hate to be the 'new money bragger' type but when you come into possession of an unexpected $17, it's hard to act like you don't care.

[–] _thebrain_@sh.itjust.works 7 points 4 months ago

Wow you are all rolling in it! I got 4.67 usd.

[–] Riverview_Legal@lemmy.ca 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I remember reading years ago (2010?) from a lawyer who declined to get involved in a class action law suit against a car manufacture (Honda or Toyota?). The lawyer wanted to file in Small Claims and wanted other people to do it as they would get bigger pay outs and it would cost the car manufacture more money through litigating numerous law suits.

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 2 points 4 months ago

Yeah the only winners in class action law suits are the lawyers. The only losers are the customers.

[–] Tronn4@lemmy.world 6 points 4 months ago

I got $6. Holla

[–] frankenswine@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 4 points 4 months ago

I know right, feels like a dream.

[–] jdr@lemmy.ml 4 points 4 months ago

But you only get money now if you also got money before! You should have gotten like twenty bucks last time!

[–] makeshift0546@lemmy.today 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I'm getting $250 for my latest one. Got $700 for my pixel 5(I think). 🤷‍♂️

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Wow. What did they do to you? Install a webcam in your shower?

[–] makeshift0546@lemmy.today 1 points 4 months ago

Bad batteries.