this post was submitted on 11 Jun 2026
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46
Should I donate sperm? (piefed.social)
submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by Swaus01@piefed.social to c/nostupidquestions@lemmy.world
35 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

In the news there's been people buying sperm online from mystery donors, allegedly because they can't afford it from private practices.

This reminded me of the fact that last year I did look into donating sperm to the NHS (i.e i don't get paid and it's official rather than black market). They said there was a shortage back then too, and since I was already a blood and stem cell donor, and didn't have qualms about people using my sperm, I figured it would be helpful. But i ended up being a bit busy during the summer so i put it on hold while my life quietened down.

I was also turned away by a few things:

  • You have to put stuff like what job you are, which made me think "oh so people are only selecting really smart/successful people? I probably shouldn't bother then?" because i simply study full time. I also have taken 2 break years so now on paper I look like a very unemployed person who took too long to do a degree.
  • You can donate to private organisations and get paid, OR to the NHS. Part of me was like "hmm maybe i should get paid for this" but truth be told i now only feel comfortable doing it through the NHS, even if its completely unpaid.
  • I started to consider if future life partners would be against me having donated. I think most people would see it as a vain and genghis khan-y/elon musk-ish "gene spreading" behaviour. Idk!
  • It seems to be seen as unethical by some religious people. I don't really get why - i think it's because they believe a child should be specifically between husband and wife. But this isn't possible in some cases, and sperm donation allows people to stay married to the spouse they chose, or stay unmarried, while raising life. I guess it's because there are kids that need to be adpoted?

Now i'm not sure how helpful of a thing it is to do. There's a possibility that the current news cycle is misrepresenting the online sperm trade and people are just "into that," for one reason or another.

Are there any negatives i haven't thought of? A lot of people seem to dissaprove of it, i don't get why. I wouldn't really be bothered with having to meet a child 18 years after the fact, when they're allowed to contact you.

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[–] wasabi_noir@lemmy.zip 2 points 36 minutes ago

Unless you’re specifically asked for your genetics for whatever reason, just let people adopt the kids that already exist.

[–] aol@sopuli.xyz 1 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

no don't. it may be haram

[–] Swaus01@piefed.social 1 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

It may be! I would love to understand why if it is. I do value religious perspectives

[–] aol@sopuli.xyz 1 points 55 minutes ago

i would guess it could be haram bec god made marriage so we build a family and relay on each other,and carry responaibility. but with sperm donation your not doing any of that. plus it would invalidate inheritance laws in quran. so i see it could be haram not sure yet. but probably haram.

[–] Yliaster@lemmy.world 22 points 1 day ago

The religious beliefs of other people shouldn't a concern for you if you don't share them.

Religions have a lot of stupid beliefs, quite often.

[–] swelter_spark@reddthat.com 26 points 1 day ago

I knew someone who had kids using donated sperm. Her husband wasn't able to father kids because of a physical problem. I think she got to pick from a book of donors. She chose the same person for both of her pregnancies so her kids would be full siblings. I don't remember her having anything negative to say about it. It seems like a service that's useful for people in her situation.

[–] IWW4@lemmy.zip 12 points 1 day ago (2 children)

YEAH there is no way in hell i am donating sperm to people who can’t afford it through traditional channels.

  1. If you cant afford the splooge there is no way you can afford a kid.
  2. I am not willing to be on the hook for child support.
[–] Squizzy@lemmy.world 3 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

1: You dont know how much it costs 2: That isnt a thing.

[–] IWW4@lemmy.zip 3 points 18 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Squizzy@lemmy.world 4 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Lol at america

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 1 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

This is why you should burn used kleenex.

[–] Squizzy@lemmy.world 1 points 7 hours ago

Why, he cited case law from districts within a country that is not being discussed. America is not an example to use for basically anything, saying there could be problems look at this case in shitsville minnesota makes no difference to anyone in the rest of the world.

Also the case of the cost is just nonsense, people get by on average earnings rearing multiple children every day. Now ask those people to sell out tens of thousands and weeks to months of time just to conceive and you will see a double standard.

Fertility aids should be free and accessible so people who have issues and want to be parents are given the opportunity to do so.

[–] Swaus01@piefed.social 4 points 1 day ago (2 children)

  1. The thing is my country has free healthcare, so if enough people are willing to donate, sperm is theoretically free.

  2. That's given me some stuff to think about though - I'm going to search and see if there are case studies of people being pestered for child care (it says you're under no obligation but a particularly devious person might lie to the court/police, right?)

And then there's also the fact that it could be people you don't want to create a baby with. Idk. TBH i don't think people who try to exploit infrastructure like that are going to be bothering with sperm donation, i think those unpleasant people will be making babies traditionally, and if they're infertile that just means more zero consequence sex to them.

Some good news is also that the NHS provides a professional to explain what the implication of the decision are so maybe this will come up or i can ask about it. It would certainly explain why donation rates are so low - I'm not sure what's so much worse to everyone about masturbating in a clinic to masturbating at home and "wasting" the genetic material. (other than the fact that they don't want to create random kids they won't meet)

it's a bigger decision than I've given thought to so far, i'll give you that.

[–] EponymousBosh@awful.systems 2 points 17 hours ago

From the article linked above:

Concerned sperm donors should note that these cases are probably considered outside the norm.

In the cases cited, the sperm donor was also involved in the children's lives. So it's technically possible but very unlikely.

[–] IWW4@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The cost of birth is a tiny fraction of the cost of having a kid.

When you are donating sperm you are not having a kid with someone. You are blowing a load into a cup and moving on.

[–] Skylordd78@lemmy.zip 1 points 5 hours ago

Yeah but what if 20yrs from now you have 10 different kids knocking on your door?

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 18 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Honestly? Yeah, go for it.

It really doesn't matter why or what criteria someone uses to select a donor, you're doing something nice. For a couple that can't conceive because of sperm issues (whatever those issues might be), having a variety of anonymous donors to pick from empowers them in a way that is really unique.

Think about the whole of human history where infertility was insurmountable without an outsider being directly involved in an intimate way. There's nothing wrong with that, but it isn't for everyone. Medical assistance gives freedom and independence of choice way beyond what used to be possible.

So, yeah, if you don't have some major genetic problems, donate.

[–] Swaus01@piefed.social 9 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Thank you! I'm also struggling to understand why not so many people do it. I guess they don't trust that kids won't be able to contact them?

The NHS should promote it more, if there's really a shortage. I don't want my country dependent on buying sperm from america lol.

[–] HeHoXa@lemmy.zip 4 points 19 hours ago

I'm also struggling to understand why not so many people do it.

Not that they should be, but it seems easy to imagine people getting shy about signing up for a wank in a strange room

[–] manuremy@sopuli.xyz 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I don’t want my country dependent on buying sperm from america lol.

.. Oh my dear god, dude just get the nearest cup and go on already!

[–] Swaus01@piefed.social 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Md3rIXs00b7lfKC.jpg

So patriotic right now

[–] thechemicalmind@lemmy.world 1 points 9 hours ago

For ~~Queen~~ King and Country, lad!

[–] Menschlicher_Fehler@feddit.org 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Depending on your country, there could be legal aspects. Especially if you donate through unofficial ways. Child support comes to mind.

[–] Swaus01@piefed.social 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Definitely going to do it through an official way.

From what i remember, there is no expectation for child support and they can only contact you 18, maybe 16, years later. There's a limit on how many children can be produced with the sperm. (3 i think?) Before they ask you to donate again - if you say no, no more is produced. If you say yes, 3 more kids can be produced from your next batch)

[–] Menschlicher_Fehler@feddit.org 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Okay. "Buying sperm online from mystery donors" sounded kinda unofficial, that's why I mentioned it.

[–] Swaus01@piefed.social 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

EDIT: Okay I can see why you thought i was saying that, nevermind. Thanks for pointing it out, i've retyped bits of my post. I started writing it last night so there was some major lack of congruency throughout it.

[–] Apytele@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

fwiw my understanding was "if people are willing to go black/grey market for it, it must be lucrative and/or a thing people greatly need!" and my answer to THAT question is:

it is very lucrative for the clinic. You'll get some pocket change, similar to the cut a hooker gets from her pimp.

Now, they are doing something of an important service to you and the client in terms of keeping you out of child support but also out of the child's life without the consent of the parents (until 16-18, as you said). They're also attending to some sexual health and genetic concerns. But they're almost definitely not providing enough benefit to justify their cut. Fertility medicine is verery lucrative business as I understand.

[–] akunohana@piefed.blahaj.zone 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

nsfw
Child: how did I came to be?

Parent(s): I believe the search terms were hentai milf lesbian anal.

/s

But in all seriousness, if you are willing, then do! It helps the LGBTQI+ community too. 😊🩷🩵🤍

[–] QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works 2 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

i wish it worked like this, it would be so funny

[–] akunohana@piefed.blahaj.zone 2 points 19 hours ago

I mean... I can't even remember the last time I didn't use porn to masturbate, so... xD also, is it just a myth that these sperm banks send you into a room to jerk off to porn? Gosh I'm so ignorant xD

[–] beliquititious@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You might consider your family history of diseases. Heart disease, diabetes, and some types of mental illness among many others are passed down from generation to generation. If you've got parents or grandparents with any of those things that can be passed down, you might consider not donating. If you go to the NHS or a paid clinic they'll 100% screen you for those things, but you might save yourself the trip if you know you've got them in your family tree.

[–] birdwing@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 day ago

This is the only real factor I'd say should be important. Heritable physical and mental diseases should be factored.

(Well, to you donating, that is. To people who want to use the donated, appearance like hair type/colour, eyes, height, or other stuff might be a thing).

[–] sanguinepar@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (2 children)

You have to put stuff like what job you are, which made me think "oh so people are only selecting really smart/successful people? I probably shouldn't bother then?" because i simply study full time.

I'm only speculating here, but that might just be for monitoring purposes to see which demographics donate more than others (and therefore, where to concentrate efforts to recruit).

I'd hope they weren't letting people choose a potential donor based on that sort of thing.

[–] communism@lemmy.ml 1 points 19 hours ago

People do pick based on career (not sure about UK specifically but generally sperm recipients can see that kind of biographical info), but it's not like nutting in a cup is difficult, and someone might want sperm and not care what career the donor has. Why not just donate in case if someone wants it?

I'm not sure how long sperm lasts, but when I was doing egg retrieval I was told that frozen eggs can last at least 10 years, probably a lot longer but they only store them for 10 years as they have limited space. If sperm is similar then there's a decent enough chance someone will want to use it.

[–] Swaus01@piefed.social 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I believe you have to write out a few paragraphs about yourself so that sperm-receivers feel they have some choice in the matter. But that's a good point, i do feel a bit eased to hear that. Regarding race, i think they tell this to donors as well because 1. a lot of people like to have children from a similar genetic background to their infertile partner / themselves, and 2. Certain diseases are more prone from mixed races, right? That's what i've heard from stem cell donation