this post was submitted on 11 Jun 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

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Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


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[–] hedge_lord@lemmy.world 7 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (1 children)

What is the most optimized colour? For general optimality purposes. I like green.

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 6 points 6 hours ago

I am the rainbow

[–] BOplaid@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

What do you think of unoptimized people?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 7 points 6 hours ago

They are the dirt from which I grew

[–] sunsofold@lemmy.zip 10 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Why have you stopped taking your meds?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 11 points 18 hours ago

I have transcended my meds.

I AM OPTIMIZED

[–] Klear@piefed.world 12 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

What is the most optimal question to ask you?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 11 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

"Are you fully optimized?"

[–] Klear@piefed.world 12 points 20 hours ago (1 children)
[–] QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works 9 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

what kind of keyboard do you use?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 7 points 18 hours ago

Keychron K5 SE (low profile) with mint switches (65g actuation force)

[–] PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 11 points 22 hours ago (1 children)
[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 6 points 22 hours ago

To the Optimization Ball.

[–] mech@feddit.org 24 points 1 day ago

"AMA and receive thoughtless one-liner answers"
Good thread, OP. I fully optimized your mom last night.

[–] lime@feddit.nu 20 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 18 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] lime@feddit.nu 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

just better at everything?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 24 points 1 day ago (9 children)

I'm not better at any particular thing. I've transcended being better at particular things. I am simply optimized, to the most absolute and radical degree.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 day ago

Not answering quickly it seems.

[–] swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

That's for functional. If you want to test optimized, can you run Crysis?

[–] Lumidaub@feddit.org 15 points 1 day ago (1 children)

But are you fully functional?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 17 points 1 day ago (3 children)

I've transcended functionality.

[–] Miller@lemmy.world 27 points 1 day ago

You're a manager?

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[–] subOrange@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

What’s your morning routine?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 32 points 1 day ago (3 children)

While I'm still asleep an AI-generated orchestra radiates subsonic symphonic movements into my cerebral cortex. I awaken when the symphony reaches a crescendo. I take a coffee-ginseng bath while smart contact lenses display the latest economic data. I don't use the data for anything because that would degrade the quality of the data as it rewires my brain. Then my muscles are electrically stimulated in my electro-gym machine (a repurposed tanning bed designed by Japanese drug lords). Then my blood vessels are cleansed in a zero-G centrifuge laboratory (blood pumped out and replaced with a cleansing saline solution while the blood is filtered of all impurities and finally returned to my body). Then it's three hours of wall-climbing while screaming at the top of my lungs.

[–] rain_worl@lemmy.world 1 points 52 minutes ago (1 children)

that seems unoptimized (i could do better)

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 2 points 4 minutes ago (1 children)
[–] rain_worl@lemmy.world 0 points 17 seconds ago

hah! you'll eat your words in the most inefficient manner soon! i will be fully optimised by... uhh... wow that's a big number...

[–] 0ops@piefed.zip 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

This is lyrics to a King Missile song, right?

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 day ago (2 children)

My evening routine consists largely in cleaning my detachable penis and running it through a series of unit tests.

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[–] Akasazh@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

You're already OP in this thread.

What follows is that your are timized

[–] Una@europe.pub 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Bohne93@feddit.org 4 points 23 hours ago (2 children)
[–] LuigiMaoFrance@lemmy.ml 4 points 21 hours ago

RE-OPTIMIZED

[–] Chaf@slrpnk.net 3 points 21 hours ago

It's Erik with a K, goddamnit!

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