cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/48832670
Do the oceans turn into regular milk or salty milk?
this post was submitted on 30 Jun 2026
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no such thing as salty milk, it's just cheese.
That's not a catgirl, that's a motherfucking chaos demon
What catgirl?
Exactly
The human body is ~70% water.
I think the second and third wishes will be somewhat irrelevant.
I'm not sure what exactly it will feel like when the fluid inside your eyeballs suddenly becomes milk, but it won't matter for very long as all of the tiny blood vessels in your brain suddenly clog up and fail.
you know the water in milk? that is also milk now too!
Milk is ~80% water, so you've got a recursion error right there
No, that just means instead of 70% water, your body is now 56% water and 14% milk solids. No error in that math
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I mean the replacement happens once. So presumably it just replaces all water with the milk ratios
So would the water in existing milk cause the milk to become milk^2^?
Yes.
I mean even if the genie wasn't being that literal, just destroying all toilets would probably have the same result without the milk and lactose intolerance situations. Cholera and dysentery would take out a large chunk of the population. Societies are only advanced as their sanitation systems allow.
If all toilets on the planet are destroyed, how long would it take to replace them? The plumbing should still be fine; the toilet is just a fixture. You might need to rush to turn off the water, but there will still be a functional pipe to take any waste away. Toilets are pretty much just funnels into that hole, plus some extra plumbing to help wash away whatever goes into them.
In the short term, it would suck, but I think the problem would be solved pretty quickly, maybe even as humanity's top priority. Probably with funnels, buckets, and chairs with holes cut in them at first, then the market will be flooded with new toilets.
I think you may be underestimating how much human kind shits. We collectively create about 2.2 billion pounds of fecal waste a day. We could create a bunch of toilets if we all worked together, and some of us know about plumbing enough to make it work, but that's not the vast majority. And we all recently saw how dysfunctional world governments and the global manufacturing supply is during a crisis.
With systemic issues a hiccup that would be fine on a smaller scale could end up leading to cascading systemic failure. Hygiene suffers, the amount of people who get ill raises a few percent and the next thing you know the hospital system is overwhelmed. During COVID only 1-7% of the population ever became sick enough to be hospitalized. I imagine every single person having to handle their own waste is probably going to cause more significant illnesses than 1-7%.
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I am become cheese, and I must curdle.
Oh gouda
Milk is 87% water. This is going to create a loop that will end up with all water-based liquids on earth becoming powdered milk.
Certainly, the water in milk is already "milk", as it is a part of the larger whole?
So how much can you dilute milk before it becomes no longer milk?
Is all water already milk?
Fortunately, we know that if you cut milk with an equal amount of cream, it becomes half and half, so you probably can't dilute milk more than 50% without having to call it something else.
Logically if diluting with cream makes it βHalf and halfβ (decreasing it) then diluting it with water would increase it to either βwhole and wholeβ, making it 2x milk or even more, βhalf again and half againβ or 3x milk.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=K02LMcM2HQg
That show was really, really good ... For a while. I was impressed by what they did with this guy.
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But milk contains water so.... stack overflow?
hey kid, ever seen a planet go through every stage of a star's lifecycle?
Technically she said "make everyone lactose intolerance", not "intolerant".
Obligatory lack toes in toddler ants
She did not exclude herself...
Mimi is chaotic, not intelligent. Love her
Not chaotic! Just a higher form of order.
I mean you can just filter the milk and extract the water, what worries me is all acuatic life dying which would mess with the oxygen and then the whole wish also messes with the temperature of the earth and would lead to us dying. Without considering the water in our body being turned into milk. Blood is kinda already milk but unfiltered and stuff tho. Anyways, probably either an uncomfortable, painful and slow death, an extremely painful but quick death or an instant but painless death.
Just ran out of milk for my coffee so I used blood and it was fine
Milk comes from blood. Some stuff gets filtered and all that but still. If you do the right steps you could probably make something similar to milk I imagine. Still blood will obviously taste differently.
Wow, I was just being silly but TIL.
urine is actually blood too, just filtered differently.
you could say we "milk" ourselves 3-5 times a day.
I don't know where I imagined these things came from before but this is all a revelation.
I'm a middle-aged scientist.
wasn't milk called "blood of the cow" at one time?
What no one is talking about is those wishes include herself. There is something wrong with her but i respect her wanting to watch the world burn energy.
this is me. I love doing this to people who argue with me and "catch" me in a "gotcha" moment. in reality it's my trap card and I have every intention on going down with the ship I built.
they usually just call me stupid and nobody would sacrifice themselves for their ideals.
jokes on them, not only would I, I have done it.
Some people just want to watch the world ~~burn~~ shit itself.
Mimi is scary.
Some people just want to watch the world churn.
βCut everyone's lifespan to less than 100 years. Rewrite evolutionary history so the populations of all elephant, cow, canines, and cat nation-states cannot and never could speak. Delete the continent of Lemuria from existence.β
Would a genie intentionally find loopholes in wishes that were themselves mischievously malicious?
Depends. I'd like to think that if the wish will naturally backfire on the wisher, no need to try and find a loophole
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