Acamon

I married my partner, after being with them for over a decade, and a few years of living together full-time. It was mostly for admin reasons (we just bought our home, and being married made things easier if one of us died). If it wasn't for that I don't think we would have bothered. We know we love each other, and had decided a few years before that if we'd get married if we ever needed to, so it wasn't like we ever 'proposed'. Just a tiny ceremony with two friends as witness, and we went out to a restaurant for lunch afterwards. I don't think it cost us anything beyond lunch? Maybe a tiny admin fee?

But... I'm so happy we did! It's weird! I never really cared, and rationally, I still think it hasn't changed anything. But somehow it feels... really nice? I still regularly think (and tell them) "I'm so glad I married you". I'm sure there are lots of other things that you can do to symbolise your relationship or commitment. If I got a tattoo inspired by my partner I'd probably have the same feeling of looking at it and thinking of them that I do when I play with my wedding ring (2€ piece of silly junk from aliexpress. And we each bought a bunch of spares so that when we inevitably lose them it's not a problem). But actually a marriage is one of the simplest and cheaper ways (if you don't choose or feel pressured into turning it into a stupid moneysink).

Tldr: didn't care about marriage, got married for tax, and weirdly found it deeply satisfying in a completely unexpected way.

I travel a lot, and spend time in a lot of random places, stay with friends and such like. My job means that I can set my own schedule most of the time, but sometimes I need to respond to something pretty urgently. So, there's been plenty of times when I've been travelling light and suddenly been asked to pull a bunch of data from a spreadsheet and write some quick report on it, so usually I just ask whoever I'm with if I can use their pc for an hour and get it out the way.

It's certainly possible do it all on a phone, but it's much quicker and more pleasant to just use a proper keyboard and screen. And there have been times (like after a ill-advised encounter with a fountain in Rome) when my phone is temporarily out of action, so if I need to deal with travel arrangements on a public computer it might involve accessing my emails.

Yeah, I didn't find it particularly bizarre. Both are very natural ways to process verbal information. Anyone who's ever tried to do arithmetic in a new language knows that we don't just abstractly do math, a big part is that we know that seven plus eight is fifteen. That's why they used to teach multiplication tables by rote. It would be lot more bizarre if an llm had independently devised a reliable mathematical algorithm.

Using email clients is fine on my primary devices, but I often have to use email on other people's computers. I don't really want to go back to carrying a usb of portable apps again. And some public computers have usb drive access disabled, understandably.

Anyone got a any opinions (or a link to a review) of the different options? Proton and tuta come up, are there others worth considering?

I understand that I'll probably need to pay (otherwise I'm the product) and encryption / security is good, but the thing that keeps with Gmail (apart from inertia) is that it feels quick and easy to use. My only real experience of non Gmail sites over the last two decades have been terrible but mandatory work webmail systems that are slow, clunky and look a decade out of date. Or Hotmail, which sucks for a variety of reasons.

I'm not in the US and not on adderall (I'm on ritalin LA), but friends in multiple European countries also have issues with supply of adhd meds. I've been mostly managing okay in France, but for a few months there I was getting Swedish bottles of ritalin, and the pharmacists gave me a little print out of the medication leaflet translated from Swedish into French.

I think that campaigning and investigating the shortages and what is being done is a pretty good cause. Is your issue that by focussing on name brand adderall they're making generics look bad? (I hadn't heard of the reddit community before)

My personal experience is that the quality of generics can be pretty problematic. Lots of the big generic companies are based in India, and are not subject to the same checks and monitoring that the FDA would do for a US based manufacturer. This means that there's the chance that your generic drugs won't actually be as effective, not because the namebrand molocule is somehow better, but just that the quality control is more reliable. On the other hand, I've found Xaggitin (a generic copy of Concerta produced in the UK) to be much more effective for me that namebrand Concerta.

There was a book out recently that was a whistleblower's account of the issue. "Bottle Of Lies: The Inside Story of the Generic Drug Boom" By Katherine Eban, if your interested (you can find some reviews of the book that cover the important parts).

Personally, as someone with adhd I find "planned every detail" a bit of a stretch."

"focused on random specific details but not really worked it into a coherent, useful plan" is more accurate for me.

Yeah, I don't. Even in holiday I want to be able to go look at stuff and read books, not just lie in bed scrolling my phone and feeling mad at myself. But what has been helpful is getting different dosages (a benefit of the terrible ritalin supply is I sometimes got my 40mg as 4x10mg). That way I can take less on days when I've not got a lot on, and just want to relax. But taking nothing is not a good day.

I am OK now, but when I moved to France adhd meds were only prescribed for children. Coming from the UK and having been prescribed medication that changed my life, I was not willing to stop taking it. So I had to smuggle it to France. Fortunately, they've changed the rules, but I will not let me health be dictated by out of date rules.

I don't have links, but in the UK a lot of the official healthcare recommendations are available from NICE (the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence). When I wanted to come off my anxiety meds (they were doing nothing because my issues were undiagnosed adhd, not anxiety) but didn't have access to a doctor, I looked up the guidelines and followed the exact withdrawl program and everything went fine.

Making your one pills is much more challenging and risky (as you know) but I 100% sympathise. To not get the health care you need, because you live in a country without up to date treatments for your issue is not fair.

When I was getting settled on my dose the doctor told me to keep upping the dose until things got worse rather than better. And there was defintely a point (54mg xaggatin, a slow release concerta type) where it was too much, I didnt want to relax I just wanted to get shit done. I'm sure it could have been efficient but it didn't feel like me, and felt kinda stressy. So I've been on the dose below that (36mg) for a couple of years.

The amazing novelty wears off, and i can go back to my old avoidance routines, especially if I'm tired or sick, or anxious about something. But when my mood is good, and I'm taking care of myself, I can be efficient and focus on stuff well, while before that wad almost impossible unless I had a last minute deadline to panic me into focus.

The way I think about it is the drugs don't make it easy for me to focus, they just make it possible. So now I can do all those things people said before about breaking tasks down, and setting manageable goals and stuff to make tasks achievable. It's not easy, but it isn't easy for most people. It's just no longer impossible. But it takes a lot relearning, trying out things that wouldn't have worked before and it doesn't always work. But it's so much better than before.

Thanks! It's defintely more stuff like long term stuff, helping me schedule stuff or make appointments, reminding me to stop avoiding opening my mail, etc. And there's lots of stuff I help then with, their blindspots and weaknesses.

That's what I think makes a good relationship - being with someone with complementary skills, who you trust, who wants the best for you, and who it's a pleasure to help not just because you love them, but because what they find impossible is easy for you (and vice versa).