confusedpuppy

joined 2 years ago

I was born in Canada and was essentially raised Canadian. Both my bio parents were born in Guyana. Go back in history and their relatives were from India. My stepdad is from a Scottish background.

In Canada I lived in a city with a noticeable Indian and Pakistani population. People there assume I am Indian.

When I travelled Europe, everyone assumed I was African, French or French Canadian. I can't speak French. In Germany, people assumed I was German or Muslim. I know being Muslim isn't a nationality but the Turkish people in Berlin would greet me all the time. While I was in Australia, I was just treated like I was exotic... Yeah... And in Cuba, people thought I was Cuban. Luckily I had a pasty white, Spanish speaking Californian guy with me for a short time to speak to the locals.

It's such a trip what people assume about me. Even more trippy with the amount of people who thought I was a local when I was abroad in Europe, especially in Germany where I only had a year with a work/travel visa.

Even though I have no pride in being Canadian, that's what I am. That's the culture I was born in and raised up as. The people who ask "Where are you from? No, where are you really from?" Tend to be closed minded people who I actively avoid.

The automation industry is too dependant on so many other industries. I learned this real quick after the COVID lockdowns of 2020.

The shipping delays, as well as the overall lack of devices and materials caused huge waves but management made it seem like manageable ripples in a pond.

I made an educated gamble and got out of that industry in 2021. I couldn't predict Trump's tariff wars but I felt a disturbance early on.

I'm speaking from a North American perspective but the automation industry is global. This doesn't surprise me but even the headline alone brings a sense of disappointment.

[–] confusedpuppy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 29 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I strongly feel that it is important to not give manipulators the attention they demand. Giving attention to them only gives them more power.

A living person only has so much time on this planet. Why spend our limited energy on a hate filled individual who we will never likely make eye contact with.

Personally, the less time I spend thinking about manipulators, the easier it is to push myself to engage with my community. Even if it's painfully what my mind and body don't want to do.

Manipulators hate people with the ability to be independent and that's just enough motivation for me to keep going.

[–] confusedpuppy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm not a fan of labels because I can never keep up with the constant changing of meaning or the new labels that keep appearing.

Instead I focus on peoples actions to figure out how I am to handle them. The most common behaviour I see in people who act more in their own self interest is manipulation. They want to control as much as possible. That includes the situation and the people around them.

The simplest thing to do is observe. Watch what they do. Watch how they interact with people around them. I often ask myself a bunch of questions about that behaviour. Do the words they say match what they do? Where is the attention coming from and where is it going? What tools do they use to bring attention to themselves? Is there a power imbalance between them and someone else? What tools do they use to control that power imbalance? Who is gaining something and who is losing something in those interactions? Why do they care so much about something that seems insignificant?

That's not a complete list or anything. People are creative in good and bad ways so it's more of a developed skill which takes time to grow. You may find other observations or questions to help you filter out manipulative people.

As a quiet person who has spent more time observing than talking, I've always been a target for manipulators. They seem to think my quietness is submission. I've dealt with far too many manipulators so much of what I said comes from those experiences.

I often deal with manipulative people by either acting dumb or figuring out the tools they are using or willing to use on me and deny them the chance to use those tools on me any further.