underreacting

This may sound silly, but it happens to me more often than not that I forget the simplest solution when I wake up from pain: Did you take pain relief medication and wait 30-60 min before giving up on sleep?

Regardless of if you're diagnosed or not, you can reflect around symptoms that might still fit, and how you function, and roadblocks you experience, and use tools that works for people with those same symptoms or issues even if you don't get a full diagnosis.

ADHD or not: you get overwhelmed with splitting attention while you're doing one task, and ADHD or not: you prefer to not stress and do side-quests before leaving.

I do wonder if the side-quests your wife is now on before a hike for example, is due to you having kids now and therefore must be prepared for a lot more stuff that kids tend to create -but aren't equipped to deal with- while hiking? Have you scaled up your preparations to include your kid according to their needs and not your own (like, you're an adult and can deal with the consequences of wet socks if you step in puddles, but kid might actually need an extra pair so they can manage the whole excursion)?

Keep figuring yourself out, and keep brainstorming ideas for how to make life more manageable for yourself. Good luck!

Yes. If I feel comfortable enough to want to work somewhere during/after an interview, I feel comfortable enough to talk about my challenges as well as my strengths. I spent decades unaware of this part of myself and why I couldn't function like I was expected to - I don't want to go back to struggling to pass as "normal" and fail those expectations. I am lucky enough to be able to set different expectations for how I do my job well, now.

I'm in northern Europe, and I don't think I've been discriminated against because of this. I have asked and gotten accommodations for tests during the interview process (more time), which then led to interviews.

I have disclosed my ADHD and received job offers in my last two interviews. My ADHD tells me I can do both jobs, because fun! My experience tells me to pick the one where I can work from home part time.

It much depends on where you are, your field of work and your seniority/experience.

Medication for me has been a life-changer, it sucks that you don't even get that option. But medicine isn't the only tool available, and it doesn't always get me all the way to a good mental state.

For those days where meds aren't available, or I need a bit of extra support, body doubling does the trick. Having someone else work alongside you, not even on the same tasks, get me focused and motivated and productive. I clean much better if a friend is on their laptop answering emails in the same room, and I focus more easily on work with someone else in the office. It works on video or phone calls as well, when you need to Finish That Thing, put on headphones and call someone and chitchat while getting started and the rest of the call can be almost silent. Though this works best with more mindless tasks. For focusing task a muted video call can do the trick, that way you can glance up and see the other person working but not have to focus on answering questions, and you can even have music on simultaneously.

Speaking of music: music is super powerful. Energetic music can make you energetic, happy music you can sing along to makes you happy, and music with a steady beat but no or very uncomplicated/discreet vocals help me keep focused, particularly when listening to others in online meetings or doing complicated brainy tasks.

Physical activity is another big one. Back in school the days we had to attend in person I would use every break (and ask for extra breaks if the time ran on) to run up and down the stairs, or take a very brisk walk a few laps around the block. Now I have a walking pad in front of the computer so I never have to sit down and get stuck. Running or resistance training daily or every other day, and every other form of workout, is popular with ADHDers for a reason - moving around and tiring out our bodies also tires out the hyperactivity in the mind and makes it easier to focus. If you can get out into nature that also does a lot to get the brain working, like having a phone meeting while taking a walk in the park/forest.

And finally: accept that you have specific needs and that you function when those needs are met. It can be taking more frequent breaks, making sure to eat something every three hours, asking for time extensions on tests, working with headphones, body doubling and asking for help, setting timers to remember to have a hydration break (drink water and pee), drawing on your mirrors with whiteboard markers to remember if you've brushed your teeth, etc...

There's a lot you can do to improve your situation even without medication.