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I came here to quote this. 🫡

I know a lot of guys in the comments are saying they don’t see it so they don’t have the opportunity to call it out. And some of those guys are making good points! These communities probably don’t interact much with men that treat women with respect.

But I also wonder how much of that stuff happens and they don’t realize it’s harmful to women. Obviously sharing photos isn’t okay so that’s an easy one to call out.

It’s not a man’s fault that he doesn’t see it, necessarily. You don’t have the same experiences as women and it just doesn’t occur to you as often. Women are on alert 24/7.

Kinda like that thing about the number of guys who feel safe walking to their car at night vs the number of women. (I know some men are anxious in that scenario too, but nearly ALL women are.)

When I was an elementary school aged kid, I was afraid to play outside at my grandmas house because a man drove by yelling cat calls. This actually happened a couple times growing up.

At 14, a random man followed me home from school.

In my college there was a flyer in the restroom about how something like 1 in 6 women will experience sexual assault or rape. But really that’s just the number reported.

Every single woman I know has experienced sexual assault or rape of some kind. (I didn’t ask my coworkers to be fair).

That’s bonkers.

But I do appreciate those of you that are trying to be better! The comments here are reassuring and give hope for the future!

I just check email all day. Like that’s 80% of my job. My entire job could be done from anywhere. I don’t do as single thing that isn’t in my laptop. But I still sit at a stupid cubicle.

No. Stop treating people like livestock.

Agreed! But for me it’s not all that often, luckily.

I don’t recall where it came from. I definitely read it somewhere and didn’t come up with it on my own. Probably here on Lemmy or on Reddit before that! It was the first example I saw that was able to articulate why it doesn’t feel right to say “female” as a noun when referring to a person.

Funny you say that! He doesn’t do it anymore but I just sent him this meme from !tenforward@lemmy.world!

I laughed at this and now I’m going to do that in my head whenever I see that word

I appreciate that he is willing to learn and grow. We all make mistakes. If you understand why it’s offensive and keep doing it, yeah red flag.

I think the ability to change with new information is admirable.

It is if you say “man” and “female” instead of “male” and “female”. While it can be a noun, it’s mainly used as an adjective to describe sex.

It’s like saying “A black owns the shop.” Instead of “A black man owns the shop.”

Notice how calling someone “a black” is kinda icky?

It has also seeped into every aspect of male culture. You want to watch a YouTube show about cars? Sure. The first couple episodes are normal and then they start sliding in dumb shit.

You listen to a podcast about working out? Same thing goes. It’s little stuff here and there. Sometimes it starts as a reoccurring joke, but it keeps happening until they actually believe.

I also find there are a lot of young people who aren’t comfortable on computers and basically believe whatever they see on the internet, much like an older generation.

Occasionally my partner does or says some things that remind me of the “manosphere” aka 4chan neckbeards.

And when it happens, we talk about it. I don’t pretend or let it go as “he doesn’t mean it” or “he doesn’t know what he’s saying”. I don’t get mad and he doesn’t get mad. We have an adult discussion and I’m careful not to talk down to him.

A perfect example was that he sometimes says “females” when he means “women”. I explain that it’s not a swear word but it’s still derogatory. I explain why. Once I did, he understood and stopped doing it.

It doesn’t have to be a big deal! Communication is key!