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U.S. Troops Were Told Iran War Is for “Armageddon,” Return of Jesus
(jonathanlarsen.substack.com)
this post was submitted on 03 Mar 2026
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Even the Bible says no human will know the hour or the day.
Who an I kidding, no one involved here read the Bible.
The Bible also says life begins at the first breath and has instructions for an abortion ritual.
It's okay lots of people who believe in God believe they can trick god.
It happens in many faiths. Jewish people are famous for arguing god's law and finding loopholes. I used to work with a Palestinian guy, who grew up in Jordan. He told me that it was relatively common for a group of men to put liquor in a teapot and drink it out of teacups so god didn't notice.
When I reflect back on my evangelical upbringing this always stands out. Somehow they think their omnipotent deity can be tricked by a loophole in his own rules which in and of itself would at least prove he’s not omnipotent
"Ah that rascal put it in her butt, ah well have fun kids."
There’s a story I heard from Judaism, where the rabbis were arguing about whether god was cool with something or not. One rabbi was against all of the other rabbis, and asked god to prove him right. God personally spoke up, and was like “yeah, he’s entirely correct” - but the rabbis end up telling off god. They point out that they only have the rules he sent down to work with, and having to call him for help every time they need a ruling wouldn’t be fair or reasonable.
My evangelical parents got wrapped up in this line of thinking in the 90s right around the time teenage me was becoming disillusioned with the indoctrination I’d been raised in. Classic “end of the Millennium” fears and the hope they could jumpstart Armageddon convinced them to send money to Christian charities who supposedly then paid to move poor Jewish people in former Soviet states to Israel. Sure God was going to destroy the Earth in 10000 years, but oops, guess y’all forced his hand!
You should check out the book Hell is a World Without You.
It’s not gonna change your world or anything but with that upbringing you’ll really enjoy it
While that's true, it did give a year. We're just over 180 years past that particular year.
No, it gave a bunch of feverish hallucinatory bullshit that was so vague across thousands of years that it could mean anything.
Source: I grew up with christian apocalypse preppers.
I'm referring to a specific timeline set out in numbers that most Christians totally ignore, especially apocalyptic Christians.
The Jehovah's witnesses were set up specifically because of this prophecy, and even they decided he was late by the end of the 1800s
There's almost certainly a reason. I can't google fu the verse but if you find it please lmk.
I'd imagine the answer to why it's not generally accepted can be found by comparing translations. Likely it's the King James or one of the less colloquial ones being 'misinterpreted' to suggest a timeframe. But I am speculating here.
The main reason is that it is really obscure. I'll see if I can find it.
Edit: yeah, I'm not finding it. It basically says that from the time of the last great census of Jerusalem there would be a certain number of days (days mean years in this part of Numbers.) until the firmament was restored, referring to the Messiah, another number of days before it would be shattered, referring to his death, and a third number of days before the glory of God would appear. When you do the math, those years become 5BCE, 27CE, and 1844CE
That's what leads me to believe you read it in a specific translation. Old English does a lot of heavy lifting for those revelations folks.
Could be, I dunno. I'm not Christian, but my parents sent me to Catholic school because it had better rates of higher education among its graduates than the local public school. The Catholics took me not being a Christian personally and only let me read the Bible. So I read it, and started confronting priests and religion teachers with questions they couldn't answer because I'm an obstinate little shit like that.
I went to a protestant private school, and a bit of a looney one at that. (Charismatic Christianity)
So like you're 100% certain it was in the book of numbers? IIRC Catholics have other books protestants don't. "Deuterocanonical (Apocrypha) Books google says "
I'm certain it wasn't in the apocrypha that's a separate book at least at the school I went to. I am certain it was Old Testament, and not New Testament. Other than that, I'm pretty sure it was one of the books that got separated into parts I and II, but I couldn't tell you if it was the first or second part.
I got turned onto that particular passage by a Baha'i I was talking to outside of the school, now that I think about it. They used it as proof that Christ had already returned and the Christians missed it as hard as the Jews missed their Messiah.
If by that you mean, prehistory's Q-anon scraping together vague gestures towards barely discernable timelines and a massive knob polishing for the people of Israel, then yah.
From this they decided that this was a "key" for translating the other vague messages that deal with timelines. It was entirely assembled and patched together in the imagination of men who needed hobbies.
This is a weird vulnerability in the human condition that our minds developed faster than our actual innate sense of reason and logic. We are the same species we were 5000 years ago, and the same species we were 100,000 years ago, just with more fancy tools around us. Still searching for meaning in abstraction, still trying to find some personal validation in a cold, uncaring and basically random universe.
The verse I am referring to is in numbers it gives the last great census of Jerusalem as the starting year. It says x number of years would pass before the firmament was restored, referring to the Messiah, y number of years before the firmament would be shattered, referring to his death, and z number of years before the glory of God would appear.
We know when that census occured. When you do the math those years are 5BCE, 27CE, and 1844CE.
Source?
Googling seems to indicate it did no such thing.
Former Christian here: I can confirm that no verse directly specifies a date. However Revelations folk are a special breed.
The best one I can find is the 7000 year old earth theory.
Basically it hinges off Genisis saying Man lives for 120 years, and if you multiply that by the amount of Jubilee years (every 50 years in Hebrew tradition) you get 6000. 4000 till Jesus, 2000, till his return, 1000 years of sabbath. Than god will remake the heavens and the earth. For a total of 7000.
It's a bunch of conjecture that would make biblical numerologists proud.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Bibleconspiracy/comments/1buy0k5/comment/lo0vbhx/?share_id=nU1H99oezxn3FwBxTinwt
It's somewhere in Numbers. There's a prophecy that refers to the last great census of Jerusalem. It refers to time in days, but had previously mentioned that days in this context refer to years. There would be a certain number of years before the Messiah would appear, though they use a flowery title to refer to him, and another number of years before he would be struck down. It then goes on to say that he would return after X number of years. If you do the math, those years come out to 5BC, 27CE, and 1844CE.
Ah yes The Great Disappointment
Not clear what makes this particular set of assumptions about how some numbers might be the date of apocalypse any more special than the many, many others, though.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_dates_predicted_for_apocalyptic_events
Also started The Baha'is who don't seem to be disappointed at all.