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Women are being abandoned by their partners on hiking trails. What’s behind ‘alpine divorce’? (www.theguardian.com)

submitted 1 day ago by HellsBelle@sh.itjust.works to c/world@lemmy.world

386 comments fedilink hide all child comments

MJ calls what happened to her in Zion national park “small ‘T’ trauma”. She knows women have experienced worse from their partners. But she still feels the anger of being left behind on a hike by her now ex. “It brings up stuff in my body that maybe I have not cleared out yet,” she said.

Five years ago, MJ and a new partner – he was not exactly her boyfriend, and the pair were not exclusive – traveled from Los Angeles to Utah for an adventure getaway. MJ, who is 38 and works in PR, was looking forward to exploring Zion’s striking scenery; its vast sandstone canyon and pristine wading trails were on the list. But on the morning of their big hike, MJ was not feeling well. She could not shake the feeling that something was “off”; indeed, MJ would learn on this trip that her partner was seeing other women.

As they made their way up Angel’s Landing, MJ’s partner started walking faster than her. “I could tell it was getting on his nerves that I was slow,” she said. “I was like, ‘Fuck it, just go ahead of me.’” He did without hesitation.

When she caught up at the top of the mountain, they took a picture together. Then her partner hiked down the mountain with a woman he had met on the way up, leaving MJ to finish by herself. They broke up shortly after that trip. (MJ asked to be referred to by her initials for the sake of speaking openly about a past relationship.)

Last month, MJ opened TikTok and heard the phrase “alpine divorce”, a label she now attaches to her experience in Zion.

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[–] TheOakTree@lemmy.zip 5 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

Yes. We really need more men to call each other out for this shit.

But somehow, all of the messaging to convince men to raise the floor have somehow been received as an attack on manhood when in reality, the results would benefit both men and women immensely.

[–] damnedfurry@lemmy.world 0 points 59 minutes ago

We really need more men to call each other out for this shit.

It's complete hypocrisy to direct this criticism at men specifically, given things like this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3PgH86OyEM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEZH6YSQvwA

Return to reality. For one thing, the bystander effect is gender-neutral, so encouraging people to speak up when they witness mistreatment of others, regardless of the sex of either the perpetrator, the victim, or the witness, is inarguably positive. But singling out the sex that is demonstrably most likely to intervene when the opposite sex is witnessed being mistreated, as if males are the only ones that need to be 'called out' for non-intervention, does nothing but expose an extremely-obvious bias.

[–] sneakypersimmon@lemmy.today 2 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Equality looks like oppression to men because they benefit from how society is now. They don’t care that women are blamed for how they act, they want to continue to oppress women for their own gain.

[–] TheOakTree@lemmy.zip 0 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

I feel like men teaching other men to grieve "losses" of male advantages is just one of many tactics used to spread anti-equality attitudes.

But yes, I agree. Many see "removal of unfair advantage" as "losing" instead of "rebalancing." Not sure why you are getting downvoted for it.

[–] sneakypersimmon@lemmy.today 0 points 1 hour ago

Because I've pissed off some of the men in this thread and they've gone through and downvoted a lot of my comments. Meh.

I feel like men teaching other men to grieve “losses” of male advantages is just one of many tactics used to spread anti-equality attitudes.

Well said