this post was submitted on 17 Mar 2026
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MJ calls what happened to her in Zion national park “small ‘T’ trauma”. She knows women have experienced worse from their partners. But she still feels the anger of being left behind on a hike by her now ex. “It brings up stuff in my body that maybe I have not cleared out yet,” she said.

Five years ago, MJ and a new partner – he was not exactly her boyfriend, and the pair were not exclusive – traveled from Los Angeles to Utah for an adventure getaway. MJ, who is 38 and works in PR, was looking forward to exploring Zion’s striking scenery; its vast sandstone canyon and pristine wading trails were on the list. But on the morning of their big hike, MJ was not feeling well. She could not shake the feeling that something was “off”; indeed, MJ would learn on this trip that her partner was seeing other women.

As they made their way up Angel’s Landing, MJ’s partner started walking faster than her. “I could tell it was getting on his nerves that I was slow,” she said. “I was like, ‘Fuck it, just go ahead of me.’” He did without hesitation.

When she caught up at the top of the mountain, they took a picture together. Then her partner hiked down the mountain with a woman he had met on the way up, leaving MJ to finish by herself. They broke up shortly after that trip. (MJ asked to be referred to by her initials for the sake of speaking openly about a past relationship.)

Last month, MJ opened TikTok and heard the phrase “alpine divorce”, a label she now attaches to her experience in Zion.

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[–] damnedfurry@lemmy.world 1 points 14 minutes ago

MJ and a new partner – he was not exactly her boyfriend, and the pair were not exclusive...[MJ] could not shake the feeling that something was “off”; indeed, MJ would learn on this trip that her partner was seeing other women.

This is like saying you agreed to go dutch on a date, and then feeling that something was "off" because you couldn't shake the feeling he was intending to split the bill.

No shit?

[–] mrcleanup@lemmy.world 5 points 3 hours ago

Some people, not anyways men, have been taught, rather mercilessly, that they have to be self sufficient. These people get aggravated, even angry when someone else fails to live up to the standard that they (unfairly) were forced to. There can be an instinctive feeling that it is somehow an injustice to them.

That doesn't excuse abandoning someone in the wilderness. Often these people struggle to learn to be a kind helper.

Also, none of this is meant to excuse the behavior. It is possible to understand "why" without condoning it. When confronting this it is important to be firm that it is unacceptable, as well as understanding that it may be a struggle to relearn.

[–] pachrist@lemmy.world 4 points 5 hours ago (2 children)

Co-opting alpine divorce, which regularly involves a murder attempt, feels weird? Just call it the sierra split.

I do wonder how much of this is a cheapening of the weekend getaway, where you'd go to a B&B upstate, find out your potential partner snores, drinks to much, is rude to service workers, or views a toothbrush as optional. You'd sigh and split. It's just a bad weekend.

But with this, camping and hiking is a complication. You're drinking warm filtered water from a Nalgene, eating granola because someone forgot to bring a lighter. Also, it's raining and all your socks are wet. Did you bring anything to wash dishes? Ah, there are no dishes. You smell like smoke and are covered in sand.

Granted, you can do camping/hiking well, but I'd bet some of these cases are from people doing it poorly, trying to save a buck by avoiding more expensive weekend getaways.

[–] sneakypersimmon@lemmy.today 3 points 5 hours ago

The article literally goes over a recent case where a man killed his girlfriend by leaving her in the wilderness on a hike.

But sure, I bet she died only because they realized they aren't compatible in a relationship.

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[–] Mowcherie@lemmy.world 9 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Balanced take. This kind of thing is very veryserious. But also a dilution of the term Alpine Divorce, which people have died from.

[–] sneakypersimmon@lemmy.today 4 points 6 hours ago

Any of these women in the stories could have died while alone on a hike. That's sort of the point.

[–] bearboiblake@pawb.social 19 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago) (22 children)

Some of these comments are absolutely disgusting, many of you guys desperately need to talk to a therapist. If you read a story like this and feel the need to defend your gender identity, you have some deep-seated insecurity which you should take seriously before it starts harming your relationships with others. I am saying this as a man who had deep-seated insecurity which took a heavy toll on my relationships before seeking years of therapy. It's not as expensive as it sounds, I promise, and it could totally change your life for the better.

[–] brucethemoose@lemmy.world 4 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

+1

I’m honestly ashamed of my sex.

I get it, I’ve witnessed guys have gut wrenching experiences with women, but… come, on. Do y'all have to internalize that as misogyny?

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[–] Washedupcynic@lemmy.ca 10 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago) (2 children)

I know this isn't really the same, but the article struck a chord with me and the experiences I have with my fiance. She convinced me to buy and play Arc Raiders. (It's an extraction shooter.) This isn't the type of game I normally play. I am not good. She made a run for an extraction point, and didn't wait for me to be in the elevator before pressing the button to extract, leaving me stranded with the enemy everywhere. (She's run way ahead of me in game before and I've taken issue with it and explained I feel abandoned when she runs way ahead without me.) The last time we played, I happened to make it to the elevator before her, and I made a point to say, "are you in the elevator," before pressing the god damned button.

Obviously, I wasn't in real danger, but those experiences have made me wary of depending on her.

[–] HulkSmashBurgers@reddthat.com 3 points 5 hours ago (2 children)

As you said no danger in your situation but it seems like your fiancee had the same mindset as the hikers (inpatience and disregard for other persons wellbeing).

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