this post was submitted on 22 Mar 2026
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They’ve been saying the end times are coming since before I was born.
Well, I'm about to join them
The nuclear clock is closer to midnight than it has ever been in all history
They've been saying it pretty much since about 30 seconds after Christ died, and I'm sure they're all just a reskinning of even older apocalypse myths.
Most of the Rapture beliefs are more based on late 19th and early 20th-century fanfic.
I remember when the rapture was supposed to happen last year. I remember when 2020-2022 was to be the end. I remember when 2012 was the end times. I remember when 2000 was the apocalypse. I remember multiple other years prior to that saying the same thing. There are books in the Bible that talk about it happening soon and they were made canon centuries ago. The monopoly on wanting the end isn’t even Christians’. Just this month I saw a video advertised on youtube still pushing that Nibiru collision nonsense that pops up every year or two. None of these people know anything about the end of the world.
[Hecklefish voice] AAAA-nunnaki!
They been saying it a lot longer than that. The 7th Day Adventists, who own all the hospitals in my area, are a Mormon splinter group who followed a guy who had calculated the exact date of the end of the Earth, and that was way back in the late 19th century. He kept re-calculating and moving the date.
End of the world predictors have been around far longer than that.
They're a Millerite splinter not Mormon when the Millerites imploded after multiple failed predictions it created several new religions, the biggest two being being Jehovah's witnesses and Seventh day advenentists. They came out of the same religious spring as the Mormons and Christian scientists for example but are more or less unrelated outside of being nominally Christian. There used to be more groups from that era but most of them were Christian socialists and were more or less all killed off by the 1950s.
Sorry about the pedantry but my kin have been fueding with the fucken Seventh Day Adventists since they moved into what is now Loma Linda California back in the early 1900s.
Valid, good post.
There was big end-of-the-world hysteria when the year 1000 was coming up. And dozens of dates after that.
It was a pretty big deal in 2000, too, with Y2K. It wasnt the literal end of the world they were afraid of, more like a computer end of the world, but it turned out to be as overblown as Y1K.
"You will know not the day nor the hour," says this instruction manual to life they keep referencing when questioned about their weird behavior.
Ah, but they then will point to the Book of Daniel and Revelations, which contain all sorts of timelines and mileposts.
Right. They are acting like they can just summon it like it’s some DnD ritual spell. The Bible literally states otherwise.
Dumbasses. Everyone knows the spell for kickstarting the Apocalypse is found in the Book of Vile Darkness, not Exalted Deeds.
Absolutely. If they actually put some points in Intelligence, they’d know this.
This is what happens when your entire party wants to play paladins.
They are so arrogant that they think they can force God's hand.
What's worse are the rich, out-of-touch fucks who should know better, are so narcissistic and so afraid of death. What they fear about it, is that the world will continue on without them. They'd rather the world end when they end. As far as they're concerned:
Oh, like Peter Thiel and his little plasma addiction and preoccupation with the antichrist ? Like that dude didn't make his deal with the devil. He has as much chance as going to heaven as a camel walking through the eye of a needle. No wonder he is trying to live forever.
Metaphysics notwithstanding, he's narcissistic to the point of believing that he's "one order of magnitude above human". The rest of us? We're the first stage on the rocket. He not only wants to live forever, he wants to live above we mere mortals, free of all our petty needs and desires. This world is his playground, his toy; created for him and other billionaires like him. And if he and they can't have it, then, they've ultimately decided nobody can.
But they've never been this close to the nuclear football.
Only people talking about launching nukes are on social media.
So the guy within arm's reach of the nuclear football...
I played myself
To be fair, that guy IS on social media. A lot.
Yeah, but now they found a fool capable of leading them there for lulz.
That’s not new either.