ADHD

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A casual community for people with ADHD

Values:

Acceptance, Openness, Understanding, Equality, Reciprocity.

Rules:

No abusive, derogatory, or offensive post/comments.
No porn, gore, spam, or advertisements allowed.
Do not request for donations.
Do not link to other social media or paywalled content.
Do not gatekeep or diagnose.
Mark NSFW content accordingly.
No racism, homophobia, sexism, ableism, or ageism.
Respectful venting, including dealing with oppressive neurotypical culture, is okay.
Discussing other neurological problems like autism, anxiety, ptsd, and brain injury are allowed.
Discussions regarding medication are allowed as long as you are describing your own situation and not telling others what to do (only qualified medical practitioners can prescribe medication).

Encouraged:

Funny memes.
Welcoming and accepting attitudes.
Questions on confusing situations.
Seeking and sharing support.
Engagement in our values.

Relevant Lemmy communities:

Neurodivergent Life Hacks

lemmy.world/c/adhd will happily promote other ND communities as long as said communities demonstrate that they share our values.

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

MrPoopyButthole@lemmy.world

MrPoopyButthole@lemmy.dbzer0.com

Am I ever going to stop feeling like this? :( (leminal.space)

submitted 10 hours ago by komorebi@leminal.space to c/adhd@lemmy.world

6 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I just need to vent a bit...

I've been on meds for ~ 1 year with mixed results. I've been trying to implement new habits and tools that help me cope with ADHD. There's been some improvement not as much as I'd hoped.

My relationship has taken severe damage from me having ADHD and the conflicts this has caused in my marriage. My partner would so much want (and need) a partner who is reliable and dependable and can take care of stuff on their own, and actually takes care of stuff. Meaning: When I say I'm gonna do something I'm gonna do it and do it right. And I'm gonna know what and when something needs to be done without my partner having to tell me first.

I feel like I'm trying to swim with a weight tied to my feet and it's so hard to stay afloat. Every day feels like a struggle where I'm paddling paddling paddling and once I stop I start forgetting stuff again and things get bad.

I also know that my partner would have wanted to have kids and for a while I was open to the idea but now, after realizing I have ADHD and how much of a struggle it is I feel like life is already hard, why would I add another factor to my life that makes everything even harder?

And then I often feel myself falling into a downward spiral. My partner should be with someone else... someone who is a "real adult", someone they can rely on, someone who gives them a feeling of security... Not someone where it feels like (their actual words) being with a teenager or having a child instead of a partner.

I'm in psychotherapy to help me get rid of this negativity but it's still so long till my next session and I just needed to vent a bit. For a while I thought I was making good progress but now I feel like nothing much has changed, not really.

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[–] AddLemmus@lemmy.ml 3 points 8 hours ago

A start is a start, and these can be the first steps into a better life.

That being said, you are not where you want to be yet, and you need to keep going in the right direction. Don't worry about how fast you do that, but keep going. Many people are disappointed at how little they can change within a month, but astonished how much they can do in a year when they stick to it. Would be too bad if you only ever experience the former.

What is missing? I can think of two things:

More methods. What are you doing already? Do you have ideas how you could do a little more while the meds are peaking? E. g. set a 30 minute timer after taking them, then set another 20 minute timer during which you work on the thing that would improve your life, just as a random example. Or cut out a thing that holds you back, such as doomscrolling during peak, or other vices.
Change in treatment or additional diagnostic. Different meds working better, therapist, exercise and diet? Additional co-morbidity, such as depression or a physical condition making you tired?

And definitely no baby now. Nope, nope, nope. Recipe for disaster.

1.5 years into treatment, I am both astonished at how much I improved as well as how much there still is to do.