this post was submitted on 25 May 2026
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[–] BertramDitore@lemmy.zip 45 points 1 day ago (3 children)

I was sitting around a picnic table with a few friends and a couple new people we didn’t know too well. Someone had the idea that the new people go around and predict something about each of us, who they had basically just met.

One of them went around and said something super nice about each person, like “you’ll get that job you always wanted” or “you’ll have kids that will end up doing great things” stuff like that, kind of impersonal but nice generic predictions.

When she got to me she stopped, looked at me really hard, and said “you’re going to die, sad and alone.” There was silence for a few seconds and then most of us started cracking up, because we were sure she was joking. But when we stopped laughing, I saw she hadn’t even cracked a smile, and she looked me straight in the eye and said “I’m serious.” Then moved on and said something super nice about the next person.

This was more than 15 years ago and it hasn’t stopped bothering me. Needless to say, she and I never became friends.

[–] JigglySackles@lemmy.world 7 points 22 hours ago

What the fuck? Who does that shit? I hope she gets to experience what she tried to put on you.

[–] SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 1 day ago

I predict that you'll die at 90 years old from too many orgasms during a menage a trois

[–] tourist@lemmy.world 37 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Jesus Christ what the fuck

Maybe another stranger's prediction will cancel it out?

Your final moments will be full of joy as you reminisce on a life well lived.

You will unfortunately, at some point, have an erection that lasts longer than four hours. You'll need to go to the E.R. for it, but it'll be fine and won't affect your overall health.