Ask Lemmy

Disclaimer: (classical) music lover, here. With a lifelong allergy to noise. Suffering from constant loudtinnitus for the last 20 years or so.

Sorry you got that. It's a sad shit.

Mine appeared one night, out of the blue and never went away. The next day I got an appointment to have my ears tested and the doctor told me I got tinnitus plus I was starting to lose my hearing (which slowly got worse as the years went... now to the point that I'm really considering I should be using hearing aids).

I’m unable to cope with and this adds to the burden.

I was unable to, at first.

Don't fight it. To me at least, it was making it so much worse as I was only thinking about that stupid noise, it was everywhere I looked, so to speak.

Nowadays, I'm able to barely think about it.. It's there, I can hear it, like right now I just heard them, but I can also ignore them like I will ignore the roaring traffic noise coming from the street through the windows. Not all the time though. And it shows, when I'm overwhelmed by that sad noise, my spouse instantly notices it as I suddenly look... exhausted and very much unhappy.

You might want to check with doctors (plural) what you can do but what helped me the most was to learn to consider that ugly noise part of myself... Accepting it for what it is: one more limit I have to learn to live with.

Like me getting older each year (nearing my 60s) and not being able to have all night long intense fu..., sorry, not being that physically able to provide long lasting efforts, anymore. Like me knowing for a fact I will be immensely lucky if I manage to reach 70 years old, because I've already been incredibly lucky for the past 20 years or so to be alive, as I should not be.

The level of noise constantly comes and goes. It mostly depend how stressed I am but it's not just that (it would be too simple).

To this day, my spouse is impressed how 'easily' I learned to live with those two whistles constantly blowing their uninspired single note and loud music directly into my ears ... but the real secret is that I did not learn to control them. I just capitulated to their invasion of my personal space. The only thing I did is to study those noises (as there is a narrow range of variations between loud as fuck and just loud) and teach myself to be fine with them being there.

One thing that often helps me a lot when it's too loud to ignore it is to go out for a (long) walk, without any music/podcast... nothing in the ears. Just me listening around to nothing but random outside noise... Birds singing are great for that, plus they're great to watch too, and I will often try to walk wherever I know I might hear them, even though there are quiet a few whose cute voice I can't hear that well anymore.

Herbal infusions can also help, or even a good tea. And just having a calm chat with my spouse talking about mindless things (we would avoid talking politics or anything stinky like that).