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If you walk up to random people in a cafe, park, or embankment (really?) and ask for their numbers, you could get a positive response, but it's equally likely that a women (or even a group) will start yelling at you for doing so.
That's what I'm saying about nowhere to ask safely. Some women will be totally fine with being approached, and others will not, but there is ZERO way to indicate to others that information.
We need to bring back the whole gay handkerchief system and adapt it to the whole population, If everyone wore an accessory or object that indicates your willingness(or not) to be approached it would make the whole situation 100% better. Like a stoplight party, but all the time and with slightly less impact on your whole wardrobe.
What the hell is this exaggeration? You just go and exaggerate everything!
If you need a meeting party, go ahead and organize one. But it is logical that no one will give out a phone number during social networks! It is not 90 or 00 (depending on the level of development of the country). After all, everyone has the right to refuse an acquaintance! It is not an obligation. But to answer your question, a small conversation is quite enough. And during the conversation you will understand whether there is any sense.
Gay, ok. So he's just looking for a girlfriend, not a girlfriend. (Fucking English... 1 friend, 2 relationships) Why then meet on the street? There are plenty of different fan fiction sites, plenty of groups on themes where you can find people who are quite tolerant of gays and lesbians. You apparently have no idea what it's like in other countries... Today the easiest way to meet someone is the Internet. And not the street. After all, many do not accept people who violate their personal space. I won't even mention those who already have a developed culture of "man = rapist"... It's generally difficult to understand what some individuals have brought women...
And damn, what's so strange about embankments??? You know, there are some in Europe - by the river! Where there is a bench or people just stroll... It feels like you never left the house...
Ah, you’re getting to a challenge that women have faced forever: “If I reject this man, will he decide to attack or kill me?” (Sources: 1, 2, 3, 4,5, 6)
Or just in general the concept that’s been named “Schrodingers Rapist.”
It would be a whole lot safer for many people if there was an automatic way to see into someone’s soul to know what they are like and what they are capable of. Are they a rapist? Do they have the potential to be? Will they reject me violently? Will they publicly humiliate me?
None of us can know those things. The best we can do is to try to establish strong social skills and pattern recognition, and work to avoid the situations that put us in danger (whether physical, social, or emotional). It’s hard and there’s no silver bullet.
While you want to put the onus on women to minimize the risk of a man being publicly humiliated, you’re ignoring the realities that women are dealing with the exact same kind of uncertainties (except statistically speaking, with much worse outcomes). There isn’t an easy answer here and it’s not one that falls on just one gender to resolve.
Im not ignoring the problem women have at all, I'm suggesting that if they want men to stop asking, they take the onus upon themselves to initiate.
You're the one blaming men as being rapists here, not me. Maybe go talk to someone, you clearly have issues.
So I think this is the disconnect. This isn't window shopping; you're trying to connect with another human being. You need to take the time to talk with her, see if she shows interest by engaging and encouraging the conversation, and if there's any commonality or chemistry between you.
Then, if you think there could be something there, offer to give your number rather than ask for hers. It will help her feel safer with you, and she can choose whether or not to accept and if she takes it, she can choose whether or not to follow up. It puts the onus on her to move things forward.
You are absolutely right. What kind of idiot would just walk up to you and take your number? Like if a girl just came up to you and you'd react normally? Even without knowing who she is and why she needs your number... 🤦🏼♀️ The man is clearly strange and obsessed with phone numbers...
I'm 40, and married. This isn't about me.
You still don't get it through, you say talk to them first, but thay limits when you can even start a conversation to very limited locations and certainly doesn't include your suggestions around a park or embankment.
A couple of things:
I don't know what to tell you man. There are people all through this thread telling you it's not as dire and impossible as you seem to think it is.
He doesn't need an introduction. He's married. But he teaches a 22 year old guy... It feels like he's not 40, but 60... And the only place to meet someone is a bar... 🤦🏼♀️In different cultures and different countries everything is different. You need to study it first. And he was told directly that I, for example, do not talk to drunk people. Unfortunately, such is the society, and it is too nasty when drunk.
That is, if they refuse, then there are reasons for this. And it doesn't mean that everyone is obliged to give each other a phone number.... God, 2025.... Who gives them out anyway? This is personal information that is not advisable to distribute. You have nicknames in IG, Reddit, Twitter, FB and Telegram... And a bunch of others.