Ask Lemmy
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, toxicity and dog-whistling are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online
7) No Hit-and-Run questions.
Please don't delete your post for no apparent reason. If you plan on deleting a question later, say so in the post, or if you feel that you have a good reason to remove it, message a mod beforehand. It's not fair to the ones who took their time to answer, and it's not in the spirit of the community.
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
view the rest of the comments
https://sh.itjust.works/post/62283101/26027884?sort=New
This type of attitude is incredibly common on Lemmy. I think a lot of AMAB people don't see it very often though.
I run into my share of disagreeable people. I just block and move on. I rarely waste my time giving them any engagement at all. For me at least, there aren't actually that many I needed to block, just a loud few.
Ah but that doesn't work when it's not just a couple of users. The mods in womensstuff have to deal with men forcing themselves in those posts constantly. And I run into these types of misogynistic beliefs much more frequently on Lemmy than I would on Reddit for example. This is the culture that's been allowed to proliferate here.
I've been here for a little while and can observe a few things.
Your default feed depends entirely on what the people in your instance are subscribed to.
There are some instances that seem particularly obnoxious and repeatedly trigger pile-ons and other unkind behaviour.
There's a bunch of undeclared bots.
Some communities have a particular aversion to people randomly participating.
To have a better experience, I use a bunch of filter words to stop crap I have no interest in. I also filter URLs for the same reason.
I use "block" when there's a post with worldviews being expressed that are incompatible with my own views.
There's a bunch of communities that have content I don't care for and I again use block.
When I see spam, I report the post and block the poster.
I have account age turned on which alerts me if an account is "new here" and already obnoxious.
Since karma doesn't work here, I display the aggregate vote, which helps you determine for yourself if you might want to interact with the post.
I tend to use the "All" feed, which is what allows me to see posts like yours without subscribing to the community.
I dip into communities and contribute when I feel compelled, which has me posting all over the fediverse.
It's a different experience from Mastodon or BlueSky, but there's plenty to like about it and not better or worse than the other platforms.
When I used Reddit, there was a particular humour that had an interesting vibe about it, but the blackout and mod bans had me leave for the fediverse and while I miss that brand of humour, I don't regret leaving and from time to time I see the seeds of it here.
You also have to remember, this is by comparison a pretty small community and it's going through growing pains, triggered by regular influx from other platforms.
On the whole, I'm glad I'm here.
I fully agree with you, I enjoy Lemmy more than Reddit for a few reasons. And now that I've been here long enough to tailor my subscription feed, it's great. There's quite a few thoughtful and interesting users here that I very much enjoy running into from time to time.
There is a feeling that this place is not dissimilar to early Reddit or 4chan and those places had their issues with being predominately male as well. I'm not going anywhere and I'm hoping to help shape this place to be even more welcoming for a larger range of different people.
I have account age turned on which alerts me if an account is “new here” and already obnoxious.
How do you do this? i use piefed...anyone know how to set this up...please and thank you
On my Lemmy Voyager app it's under Settings -> General -> Comments -> New Account Highlightinator.
😃 thanks I’ll take a look
The nature of Lemmy is that users can go sign up on another instance and continue their tirade. With that said, surely if the comment was reported they would be banned from the community?
All public online communities are not exempt from trolls. Lemmy admins are pretty good at coordinating between instances, tracking and removing troll users, but it's endless work and often no one has even reported the problematic content.
Again, it's not just one user here and there. It's constant. So yes, the admins work hard on banning them, but there's so many here on Lemmy that are unwilling to respect women.
I am honestly not surprised. But I'd guess this is a problem in public women spaces on other platforms too. The internet in general has kinda always been notorious for not being friendly to women.
Not really sure what the solution is. Realistically IRL isn't that women-friendly either 🤷
This is why I said in my comment that I wish more guys would call out their fellow men’s misogyny more instead of relying on others to correct them. It would be a step in the right direction.
Not saying this is you at all, but it would nice to not have guys arguing and crying misandry/sexism when they are politely asked to leave a space specifically made for women and femme adjacent folks. Maybe if more guys pushed back, women would feel more welcome.
You mean in general, not in c/WomenStuff? I don't think I'd feel comfortable posting there even if it was to push back on misogyny.
Yeah, I meant in general. I’ve seen quite a few times instances of it outside of womensstuff and not many people call them out except for folks like me and velma. I’d never expect a guy to do that there.
The sigh that emanates from me when I see this reply over and over again is both deep and tired.
I have so many misogynist cries misandry tags out there that it’s pretty crazy. I just tag folks instead of blocking since this is still such a small space, that way I can read their comments/posts but otherwise not engage with them.
The worst of the worst I’ve seen here hasn’t been active in over two weeks thank goodness. Hopefully he got told he’s an ass by enough people other than me that he left.
That's a great tag, I'm gonna steal it :)
Can’t steal what’s freely given! Have at it!
I know the solution isn't giving up and allowing men to say these things out loud with absolutely no push back, so I'm rather prepared to be unpopular on Lemmy hahah
Fair!
Jesus...
You don't realize you're the problem in that thread?
They said they were don't responding to them, and you accused them of harassing them for replying?
Why reply again to prolong it?
Even if you didn't block them, you could have just not responded. But you did, and then just keep insulting them with someone else.
Just, I've never seen a bigger example of a problem blaming everything else for a problem existing.
Dude was being a toddler in an adult discussion and got called out for it because it's just as annoying as it would be in meatspace... some people have trouble understanding basics like that so we try to help.
You didn't read further up in that thread, did you?
He had been asked politely several times to read the rules of the community and he threw a fit and name-called instead.
That community is women only.
No, I don't think I need to shut up in the face of men forcing themselves into spaces where they are not wanted.
Hahahaha considering how many communities you have been banned from, I really really don't need to give your opinion weight here.
Wait, you're blaming someone for telling the obviously sexist dude to leave the women's only community, when the guy keeps responding with more sexist bullshit?
edit: And now you've banned Velma from your community for disagreeing with you here. I've never seen a better example of a problem with lemmy.
Yeah givesomefucks is one of the worst offenders of stereotypical reddit mod bullshit, dude is literally what this post is talking about. Pretty sure he uses sock puppets too because all his dumbass takes have a similar number of upvotes and all the people he argues with have a similar number of downvotes.
Imagine taking votes that seriously.
This is what tagging is for! There's hope for some people even if they make dumbfuck comments and think votes are popularity affirmation.
Right? I've got alts but who can be fucked to switch accounts to upvote yourself? That's some hardcore loser shit.
Petty mods are not specific to Reddit unfortunately.
I’m somehow both a troll and too sincere to participate. So fucking petty.
Forgive me for stalking, I saw you got banned and had to get to the bottom of it. I'm not surprised but I am disappointed.
It's actually a relief that you saw it as well. Makes me feel not so crazy for being targeted like that!
It's kind of obvious that you are being vote brigaded, some deeply immature emotional framework is stalking you.
My outspoken nature draws the ire of immature men unfortunately.
Thank you for noticing <3
One thing I kind of hate is the abuse of the voting system, I kind of miss slashdot for its enforcement of a justified moderation for voting on a comment.
So it's annoying, but sometimes I just go around counteracting user-targeted revenge downvotes, even if I don't totally agree with the comment. It feels like being the janitor.
Yeah because if I remember, the comments they removed weren't bad at all. You're not crazy, some people are just so damn fragile.