Ask Lemmy
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Gotta agree with you here Velma. The beauty of Lemmy isn't that it attracts or allows different people, but that we aren't advertised to, and we are able to block instances or communities that don't work for us, and we are able to fully curate our home pages without being shown posts from completely unrelated pages just because they paid money to be boosted. Once that is done and we have found and settled into our spaces, that is where the good interactions come out.
Misogyny is just as rampant here as any online space, it's a systemic issue, it was not a reddit/4chan-exclusive issue. It existed before and will outlast reddit/4chan until we solve the actual fucking problem: men are both socialized and continually encouraged to fundamentally disrespect women. They need to do just as much brain-rewiring as we do when we combat our internalized misogyny.
Well said. You're right - the root of the problem is that the users here are predominately male and that then influences the tone of the space. Without conscious effort it is easy to allow misogyny to flourish.
Especially since they are hard-wired to just not notice it - hence why we constantly get told we are overreacting - to them it comes out of left field because they do not see what we see.
The real piss off with that is that while I realize it isn't their fault they are socialized that way, if they really want to believe that they, individually, are one of the "good ones" (as in, the non-problematic men, the ones not contributing to the problem) they can't justify that belief unless they are actively listening when we tell them what we experience, or how something comes across from our perspective. So many of them want to push the problem down by saying "nuh uh" or arguing with us about our own damn experiences
Its fucking asinine.
My favorite is when they acknowledge we live in a patriarchal society, that women are treated worse than men, but we are overreacting or simply imagining men are treating us this way.
Fucking asinine indeed!
Sorry you girls/women have to fight so hard just to have a space. Probably makes it hard to want to try some days and it shouldn't be that way.
As dkppunk said, it would help if the good men here would push back against their fellow men and some of these attitudes here. Seeing others push to create space for everyone to feel welcome helps a lot!
I haven't come across much, but I mostly visit stuff where discussions don't bring in anything mysoginistic. I may not notice everything as immediately since I'm not the one directly affected, but I do try to speak up when I notice because it affects some of my favorite people. I'm glad though, that you and others are speaking up and pushing so more of us take the effort to heart and pay proper attention.
I really appreciate it, truly <3
Well, it's not much but I hope it's helping. 🙂 Have a good night/day!
Absolutely! I wish more male users of these comms would call out their fellow men’s misogyny and not rely on others to do it for them. It would make the spaces more welcoming to a lot more people and create a more positive atmosphere.
I also love seeing 2 of my fave lemmings in other spaces 🥰
Been missing seeing you as often after Blahaj went down last week! Good to see you again today :)
Definitely one of the users that make Lemmy a pleasure to be on!!
I've found Lemmy the most gender diverse friendly place yet. A lot less 4chany/reddit/spezpedo than anywhere else.
You’re ignoring how many women, femmes, trans, enbies, and POC are on Reddit.
Reddit’s population size is going to naturally make it way more diverse than Lemmy for a long time still.
Not ignoring. They have a larger audience, but I felt the general community was more welcomed, and openly themselves here edit: in non-specialized subs.
Ah, there were quite a few great subreddits I was involved in that were incredibly diverse and friendly. I miss those spaces, though I've found a couple of communities on Lemmy with similar feel.
I've found Lemmy quite harsh and exclusionary for women, so maybe my experience has just been different than yours.
Sorry to hear. I hope that changes fast. My experience on Reddit was vastly different.
The only thing I miss about Reddit was a secret women's only sub that you could only access by invitation. At one point I got invited and, my god, it was an amazing little space. I posted things there that would've been flooded by pervs if I'd posted them on the mainstream site. Like a picture of someone floating in bliss and saying something like, "How my boobs feel when I go swimming."
The Women Only community here is good, but I really wish it were more private. Although I haven't seen as many guys getting weird about comments from my perspective on Lemmy as I did on Reddit, it would be wonderful to have an actual private space where we didn't have to worry about guys coming in, not reading the rules, and commenting anyway.
Does Lemmy not do invite only subs/private subs? Like, could you just make the one you want?
I'd be worried about how other women would find it if it was private. Lemmy is already really small.
By invite.
Not everyone who would find the group a good fit advertises their gender.
Maybe an offshoot private community from the main would be a good idea though.
Not everyone, but bit by bit the community could be built, just as it happened on Reddit. We already have the members of the Women's Stuff community to start with.
I'm just not sure if Lemmy has private communities in the first place. I'm tech literate in the way all Millennials somewhat are, but by Lemmy standards I'm ignorant. I really don't know much about the ins and outs of making communities here. If even direct messages aren't truly private (by the nature of federation), I'm not sure if a private community is possible?
I miss the entwives subreddit :(
I've said it before and I'll say it again. I just don't understand misogyny. I absolutely love everything about women.
Damn, I have the perfect gif for this but Lemmy doesn't support gifs in comments yet?
Maaaaybe? If the following gif works, we will know something
Edit: Damn, links the IMG but doesn't play the gif for me.
Voyager app checking in with all systems green: your wish is granted.
It played the gif for me.
I had to open it, then hold tap on the image and click "play animation", so it's definitely app dependant
It plays if I open it! Hm maybe it’s a difference in instances or apps.
That's my guess as well.
It doesn't? Could have sworn I've seen them in tenforward