The Internet appears to equivocate female dominance with a selfish, cruel, and controlling dominatrix figure. I'm sure it works well for people who are fascinated with power itself, but for me, I am interested in power only when it is used altruistically in the form of affectionate protection and care. I prefer something deeply humanizing, benevolent, and connected rather than something dehumanizing, malevolent, and disconnected.
EDIT: I'm also aware of the label "gentle femdom," but from what I've seen in practice, much of the content under this label is the same kinds of power plays but less overtly cruel. In general, anything that restricts or denies pleasure or hints that the female partner is emotionally disconnected or taking advantage of the submissive partner is a huge turn-off for me. I'm looking for something that feels romantic and genuine. It would be nice if there was a label that specifically implied pure romantic connotations and excluded edgy "bad girl" behavior. What I'm looking for is more like, as someone commented, a golden retriever woman who's confident and eager.
The hottest thing to me is a big cuddly woman spoiling her partner with affection and wrapping him up safe and snug with her body. She's totally in control, but she's devoting herself to her partner's enjoyment and making him feel completely loved and protected. She's effectively a protagonist, embodying strength, agency, and ultimate good.
And, I don't know. I guess I was just expecting that to be more common. Perhaps this is just a product of the fact that most adult entertainment is produced for mass consumption and tends to focus more on the visuals and mechanics of sex instead of the emotional side of it. But that doesn't explain the fact that there is tons of NSFW art for lots of different niches. So, I don't really know.
What do you think? Have you observed these trends yourself? Do you have your own theory? Am I just bad at searching? Should I touch grass? I'd like to know your thoughts.
I really don’t want to believe this is what it actually is because of the shame and stigma, but I also can’t help but notice that it lines up perfectly with the fact that I was emotionally neglected in childhood and may never have experienced the things I’m attracted to…
A lot of mommy kink stuff weirds me out, though. I feel like I gravitate more towards “confident golden retriever best friend” types, perhaps because I don’t like the idea of an all-powerful dom partner and I want to take the lead sometimes too.
Portions of goth media portray this, I think. It's unfortunate your preference is literally called a mommy fetish though.
Honestly though, I'm free to call it whatever I want. My interests appear to revolve around physical affection itself and don't involve any kind of structured roleplay, whereas examples of "mommy" content I've seen involve a more disciplinary figure and actual age regression with adult diapers, baby bottles, etc. I'm not into that at all, so I should probably just define my interests in my own words to avoid the baggage of using labels.