this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2026
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No Stupid Questions

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I tried making a Reddit account and it asked me to build karma before I could ask on any of the relevant subs so I'm posting here.

I can personally say that if anything goes up there, it hurts, and not in a good way. It does not feel pleasurable at all. It feels kind of like placing a finger on an open sore and pushing down.

Also, if you're being examined, they tell you to take deep breaths, as if they know that anything going up is going to be painful. If sex is supposed to be pleasurable and enjoyable, why would doctors tell you to brace for impact, so to speak?

Lastly, women often scream during sex. It's often said they're screaming out of pleasure and not pain. But there are a lot of things I find extremely pleasurable, but I don't scream while I do them.

Is it just one of those things that is painful but we're conditioned into believing the pain is actually pleasure and I must have inconsistent pain tolerance and I am making a big deal out of this?

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[–] Dead_or_Alive@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Not a woman but I’ve picked up the following:

  1. Some women do enjoy it. Some woman orgasm easily and others it takes time to get comfortable enough to do so. Some not at all. Personally I think it’s the ones who masterbate regularly, they seem more comfortable and seem to know how to get there. The only tells I’ve learned that I can trust as a man are if they get really flushed, if you can feel them spasm quick and hard, or if they squirt or get really wet. Everything else can be faked. Some woman don’t orgasm all the time but claim it just feels good.

  2. Some Woman fake it… a lot. the yelling is likely faking it unless you see any of the signs from #1. In my experience and conversations it’s usually one night stands or maybe a partner they are particularly interested in, I’ve had female partners and friends tell me it’s usually to try and leave an impression. But woman do it for many reasons. Some are silent if there are other people in the same dwelling who might hear it, but let loose and get if they know they have privacy.

  3. If you are curious, I’d recommend speaking to a doctor if you don’t enjoy it at all and want to change your situation.