badposting
badposting is a comm where you post badly
This is not a !the_dunk_tank@hexbear.net alternative. This is not a !memes@hexbear.net alternative. This is a place for you to post your bad posts.
Ever had a really shitty bit idea? Joke you want to take way past the point of where it was funny? Want to feel like a stand-up comedy guy who's been bombing a set for the past 30 minutes straight and at this point is just saying shit to see if people react to it? Really bad pun? A homemade cringe concoction? A cognitohazard that you have birthed into this world and have an urge to spread like chain mail?
Rules:
- Do not post good posts.
- Unauthorized goodposting is to be punished in the manner of commenting the phrase "GOOD post" followed by an emoji that has not yet been used in the thread
- Use an emoticon/kaomoji/rule-three-abiding ASCII art if the rations run out
- This is not a comm where you direct people to other people's bad posts. This is a comm where you post badly.
- This rule intentionally left blank.
- If you're struck for rule 3, skill issue, not allowed to complain about it.
Code of Conduct applies just as much here as it does everywhere else. Technically, CoC violations are bad posts. On the other hand: L + ratio + get ~~better~~ worse material bozo
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Harry Potter should have carried an M1911
Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you’re going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
Here’s why:
Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol’ American hot lead.
Basilisk? Let’s see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren’t looking at it–you’re looking at a picture of it.
Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12.
And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it’s because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal.
Now I know what you’re going to say: “But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!” Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger?
Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova.
Hermione Gunger
EDIT:
Open Carry Potter
Where's Gun Weasley?
Or DoubleBarreldorf?
My friends and I, years ago, had a conversation about "What if the American wizard school was in the Triwizard Tournament"?
For the dragons, Harry has his broom. Chud Bugsley, the American wizard has "Accio, 50 Caliber anti-material rifle" and then there's a big hole where the dragon's chest used to be. Fastest time, by far.
When they go underwater, there's probably some kinda magic to make a machine gun work underwater. Or a harpoon gun. Either way, bloody mermaids start floating to the top of the lake, and all four hostages are rescued. Sure, Hogwarts is upset that some of their employees are now dead, but they shouldn't have threatened Chud. He stood his ground.
During the maze, none of the other competitors are going to even try. After all, Chud is just SO far ahead of everyone else, why even bother? He gets a flamethrower, burns down the whole hedge maze, along with any of the hazards planned for the competitors. He touches the trophy, and gets teleported away. The Death Eaters are confused about why Harry is not there, followed by a look of terror when they realize who actually IS there. His words for what happened there? "So anyways, I started blasting".