this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2026
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When I was in my early 20s Tinder/Hinge were absolutely popping off. I met with a girl for dinner. We talked about if it went well we would go back to my place and hook up. It did and we ended up in my bed. She started touching me and said "oooooo so big". I immediately started laughing which made her laugh. I'm fine, but I do not have a big dick, she and I both knew that. We laughed about it more and she said she was just trying to be nice. Ended up being one of the more funny sexual encounters I had.

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[–] village604@adultswim.fan 64 points 6 days ago (3 children)

Losing my virginity was a weird story. After graduation, we had a small get together at a friend's house, let's call her Kate. Kate was a very strange person from a very strange family who once gave me a BJ in a church bathroom (while her brother stood guard) after I jokingly told her to blow me and she said "OK!" But that's a separate story.

At the party there was a girl there from another school that I had never met (Ashley). We were playing "Never Have I Ever" and of course having sex came up, so I drank. After the party, Kate texted asking if Ashley could have my number, and of course I said yes.

We talk for a minute before she asks if it's really true that I'm a virgin. I confirm, and she says, "Wanna change that?" Of course I did, so we made plans to meet at Kate's house where we had the party.

We go to Kate's bedroom (at her behest) and start to get busy. Things get heated up, and as we're engaged in the main event I happen to look at the window to see Kate with her hands and face pressed up against the window watching us.

Of course that threw me off, so when it came time for me to finish, I was a bit flustered and asked Ashley where she wanted me to finish (we were in edge of the bed missionary). She said, "I don't know, the floor I guess," so I did. We get up and she looks down, and it turned out that I blew my load in her shoe.

There was not a second meetup.

[–] NOPper@lemmy.dbzer0.com 24 points 6 days ago (1 children)

That whole story is horrifying and hilarious. Thanks for sharing!

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 11 points 6 days ago

It was definitely a memorable first time! Glad someone else finds it funny.

[–] uselessartifact@lemmy.zip 20 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] village604@adultswim.fan 11 points 5 days ago

That's actually not far off

[–] gothic_lemons@lemmy.world 7 points 5 days ago

Omg the shoe! I laughed good on that one