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I believe I am. I was dumb enough to make mistakes in my life like joining the US army. That's just one example but I've spent my later years encouraging people to make better choices than I have. I try to help people in their thought process over their "instincts". Even if I didn't do straight up evil in my life, I certainly observed it. I have spent my later life trying to keep people from making mistakes that will haunt them forever.
I'm certainly not zen by any means, I'm not perfect. But my hope is that people don't have the weight on their shoulders that I do. And its not just about saying no to joining the military. It's about having compassion for others. Actively finding compassion through understanding. I have turmoil over the regrets I have in life and I hope to lead people to avoid that by teaching them using the lessons I've learned in life. So yeah, I've done bad things, making me not a great person, but I use that experience to help others find a better path. I don't know if I can cleanse my "soul" or whatever. But my hope is that I can keep others from tarnishing theirs.
I still consider myself a good person because I've never done anything with evil intentions, and even when I was put into situations where I've been confronted with options to do so, I haven't done them. And when I've been put into situations where I had no option, I did what I could to avoid them. And now I encourage others to avoid them at all costs so they don't have that weighing on them. I feel I've done more good than harm by advocating thought and introspection over going with the flow than by ignoring the voice.
The people that look up to me for serving, I tell them it's not a good thing. I tell them there's no heroism in it. You don't go to war and come out as iron man or thor. You come out dysfunctional at best. And I think I've made people understand the true cost of doing harm to others, even in self defense, that it isn't free of charge on your consciousness.