this post was submitted on 26 Sep 2026
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I think words like "goat" should have a generic and unstudied applicability: if it looks like a goat, and acts like a goat, it's a goat.
A mountain goat looks like a goat and acts like a goat, therefore it is a goat.
A sheep neither looks like a goat, nor acts like a goat, therefore it is not a goat.
All semantics, of course. If you want to understand goat to mean "member of genus Capra", you certainly can. If you want me to make goat mean that, you're out of luck.
I'm willing to grant you the distinctions between goats and true goats, in deference to the science of biology. I am not a monster.
Well that's my point: this post is about how common names contrast with actual, rigid taxonomical definitions. :p
Like the colloquial word "goat" fits, but your comment read to me, given the context of the post, like you were saying goats can exist outside Capra via a technical definition, which isn't true.
Also this post is a joke, as King Bird isn't taxonomically defined.
now do it with fish!
My doctors office as a young kid had a mural wall with a bunch of silly fish. They had the names written next to cartoonish drawings in an undersea landscape. One example was the catfish had the face of a cat.
Absolutely outrageous
Phylogenetically, "fish" are simply all non-tetrapod vertebrates.
Behold, a fish:
Snakes are tetrapods m8. Specifically referring to the clade Tetrapoda, within which snakes have secondarily lost their four limbs.
so in other words its a catch-all for legless animals?
No, and not even close. Consider a tree of life. Formally, vertebrates are subphylum Vertebrata within the phylum Chordata (the chordates). That already eliminates most of the animals, as most animals are invertebrates β defined as being outside Vertebrata. All the arthropods, molluscs, echinoderms (like starfish), sponges, cnidarians {jellyfish, corals, anemones, etc.), nematodes, and so on are invertebrates.
Instead of just assaulting you with terminology, here's a phylogenetic tree showing the vertebrates within the chordates and the chordates next to our nearest neighbors.
To get fish from the vertebrates, you simply exclude the tetrapods (clade Tetrapoda), which are the four-legged vertebrates. However, even within the tetrapods, plenty of tetrapods also have no legs (snakes, for example); they've simply lost them through evolution, a phenomenon called "secondary loss".
Here's a phylogenetic tree, meanwhile, within the vertebrates. Anything outside "Tetrapoda" on that tree is a fish.
TL;DR: There are many, many, many legless animals that aren't fish.
Maybe we should base s podcast around the fact that, according to the Oxford dictionary, there is no such thing...
And other inane trivia
Yes, we don't disagree on the biology... I'm just emphasizing the nature of colloquial language as a crowdsourced effort and distinguishing it from the technical rigors of taxonomy.
True or false: The tomato is a fruit and a vegetable.
True in that it's a fruit botanically and a vegetable culinarily (or, less arbitrarily for the latter, that it's a part of a plant consumed for food).
A carrot, as another fun example, is a root botanically, a vegetable culinarily, and, in the European Union, a fruit legally as a carve-out for laws about making jams.
Same with peppers, zucchini, and all forms of squash.
Also, strawberries aren't fruit, botanically speaking because the seeds aren't inside
This is very jackdaw.
It's clobberin' time.
Wait until you find out what a fish is.
Either everything is fish, or nothing is
Logic like this is why people used to consider mammals like dolphins and beavers as fish. Stop it.
Doplphins and beavers don't act or look like fish to me. Dolphins maybe I could understand if you were an ancient person who lived inland, but beavers?
But I guess part of crowdsourcing is that you get some really stupid people on the project.
"fish" is perhaps a bad example to make your point with, given that that's a non-technical term that doesn't refer to any particular genetic branch of the animal kingdom - hence the podcast "no such thing as a fish". So I'd say that calling a mountain goat a goat is supported by the idea that many unrelated animals are called fish.
Some communities and parishes in the St Louis , MO area still recognize a 17th century French Catholic decision that, as aquatic animals, Beaver fall inside the dispensation that "fish" is acceptable for consumption on Fridays. Soooo, no matter its appearance, it is kinda fish?
Who tf listens to Catholic's opinions on taxonomy? Especially 17th century ones?
Catholics in St Louis who really want to eat beavers on Fridays apparently
St. Louis Catholics when in relation to Friday apparently. Also I feel like this is one of those spite filled fights that's been going on for centuries and at this point it's easier to jest leave em alone.
Historians, I guess.
Well you talk about 'goat like behaviour', how many different types of goat cling to the side of mountains like some kind of Rock Lobster?
My experience of goats is mainly in fields like, oh I dunno, a sheep?
Goats cosplay being in mountains no matter where they are. Goat yards are litered with large object topped by goats. Goat yoga is a thing.
Found the python programmer.
Actually, they're a COBRA programmer.
They write JavaScript and COBOL for the GI Joe villains and public health care insurance providers
Do you mean CORBA?
Nope, I mean COBRA
Yeah I thought for a programming joke we might have gone with CORBA
But thatβs also pretty old.
Every time CORBA in mentioned, a programming fairy loses its wings.... Damnit i just said it
Nice ouroboros definition