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Edit: Before you reply I want you to know something. I don't care to hear your cherry-picking pushback. These are the lies I was told.
Reading what is wrong and then reading what is also wrong in the parentheses was confusing.
Women aren't insanely more obsessed with sex and boobs. That should be a given since people are diverse and I can think of several reasons why a woman would be or not be interested in either. I would scratch that.
People should be able to wear clothing without feeling oogled and getting harassed. All genders can get harassed when they should not be.
The system is held up by companies that want to sell you things, you even mention capitalists later on but blame the whole beauty industry on women.
I would not bring up biology, women can be trans or cis just like men can be, even nonbinary. Just not a good point.
These points stood out to me since they were your early ones and I thought I was about to read a misogynistic rant. Toxic masculinity really does a number on the genders across the spectrum.
Life experience will show you that women are completely obsessed with sex to the point that for most, it's the main thing they think about.
I don't want that to be true, but it is.
I'm gender fluid so I move easily between spaces. Ever been to mans night? We talk about hobbies, news, technology, games, hobbies, our kids, career aspirations, etc. Go to woman's night and it's non-stop penises, sexual conquest, shitty exes.
It's just really hard for people to accept that most of what women project on men, is just that, projection. I will not back off that women are vastly more interested in sex than men.
I also really don't need to hear your lectures, I'm telling you a series of lies I was told as a child. I'd like to invite you to calm down, read when I'm saying, and try to understand versus thinking about how it upsets you and why you disagree. I also don't want to hear your regurgitated social media opinions, they are fatiguing and they are pointless and they are meritless.
I am calm and not upset (as ironic as it is to say: I can disagree without big emotions involved). I am not lecturing you, just providing you with actual experiences that are different from yours since I am a bi cis woman familiar with toxic masculinity (the lies you were told). I think you assumed a lot here but I did not mean to come off as upset, angry, lecturing a small child, etc. I would appreciate if you also read my words in a more neutral head space. While we may talk about our relationships when we hang out, we do not obsess over sex like you said and do talk about other things. It's disheartening that you have reduced women and 'girls night' to penises, sex, and exes. These are my actual opinions and life experiences but if you think it's all regurgitated social media that fatigues you then maybe you should listen more to us instead of shutting us out is all I'm saying at this point. You mention being gender fluid so maybe you could hang out in more feminist spaces, there's some on lemmy even and the trans spaces have been very welcoming. We're all just trying to be more kind in this cruel world.
This one is particularly interesting to me. I like how you pointed out the contradictions inherent in this general worldview so often.
I would love to hear a woman's perspective, I did not mean to go off against women! It's just that I am a man, and my male perspective means I heard these kinds of messages and lies.
When I listen to my sister, she has a unique set of bullshit that she herself was told that I was not exposed to.
Yeah I was raised by a single mother and while not specifically told by her any of those points I internalized most of them (mind you, I opted for the word internalize and not believe on purpose). I think society as a whole tells that story, specially on mass media, and women seem to go with it knowing full well it is bullshit (I think it empowers them).
I imagine it has to do with all of the sexual assault that they deal with regularly. Just a guess.
Don't think you are wrong and having that reaction towards men after being sexual assaulted is in my mind very comprehensible. The bigger problem seems to be generalization actually, saying all men, all women, all people of color, etc, is always stupid. Hope we can all learn and grow even with our traumas and scars we take along the way!
Your final sentiment resonates very strongly with me.
I have felt that nearly universally, the mostly-false stereotypes, statements and accusations made against men fall into the "projection" category. Men being obsessed with sex is the most noteable of them. Second only to the hologram that men are the ones that pressure women to look good when it's in fact almost entirely the abuse from other women who are competing for sexual interest and potential mates.
I don't think cognitive dissonance and projection are unique to women. It's a shared human frailty. But as it relates to projecting their weaknesses/faults on to men it can be egregious at times.
I think they think it empowers them.
It does empower them. Until I came to the conclusion that my questions were well founded I had to waste a lot of energy trying things that didn't work based on that narrative.
If you wake up you will see that is all speech and no bite. Unfortunately a lot of people don't wake up and instead opt to play that game, basically creating a self fulfilling prophecy of sorts. People can also have the message so ingrained that even realizing its all bullshit they convince themselves its not.
Same can be said about all dogmatic view points actually.
Damn straight for the jugular with that list!
But Reddit mods told me misandry fundamentally cannot exist and it is logically impossible to be sexist towards men while in a patriarchy
So you're lying.
It's not a battle of the sexes thing, nor an unreasonable Reddit experience thing; It is a series of lies that I was told as a child that were damaging to me. I am a man so it leans towards the men's perspective, but I tried to be fairly balanced because there were hideous things I was told about women too.
I think all of those lies are harmful to both men and women, and everyone in between all non-binary too. Children, society. All poisonous ideas that were continuously railed into my head by men, women, leaders, school people, everyone in my life growing up. And so many of these sickening ideas persist to this day.
This thread you created was actually very important to me. Now I know for a fact that safe spaces aren't bullshit. You expressed your opinions that are very controversial and lemmings accepted them, it resonated. I especially agree that tons of lies ingrained on us takes a toll to break