Ask Lemmy
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, toxicity and dog-whistling are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !uspolitics@lemmy.world
7) No Hit-and-Run questions.
Please don't delete your post for no apparent reason. If you plan on deleting a question later, say so in the post, or if you feel that you have a good reason to remove it, message a mod beforehand. It's not fair to the ones who took their time to answer, and it's not in the spirit of the community.
8) No Bots.
Posts or comments from bots, LLM's, AIs, Neural Networks, Transformers, or Marvin the Paranoid Android are not welcome in AskLemmy. Real humans only please.
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
view the rest of the comments
My problem is that I want kids.
Except, I know it's stupid. The insurmountable student loan debt that's currently a yoke around my neck is half of what it would cost to raise my ideal two children to just 18 years old. Climate change is going to destroy our way of life in the next 30 years, I'd be bringing them into a world on the brink of collapse. Society will break down when famine/disease start going unchecked, this is what I want them to experience? All so, what? I can have a little buddy that looks up to me and thinks I'm great for a few years? All so I can get my little kodak moments in between miserable days filled with screaming, crying, no sleep, stress, financial hardship, troubled marriage, and no sex?
And here I am, suffering from major chronic depression/anxiety... Would I even be a good steward of these children? I know I'd like to think of myself as just a baby away from switching into "Dad mode," but would it be enough? Would I be waking up early to get my kids breakfast and lunch together, or would I fall deep into depression and get up at 2PM like I've been doing? Will I even have the energy enough to play with my kids after work? What about building that tree-house, and doing school projects? What about after-school sports and parties and everything else? I am barely holding myself together, am I really going to be able to switch my whole personality like a light switch into becoming the kind of Dad these kids would need?
I would be trapping myself into a job I hate forever, just to have these children, which would also make retirement a fever dream.
So why the hell do I still want them? I just wish my head and my heart could be on the same page for this, and they are just not.