this post was submitted on 27 Oct 2026
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I'm sympathetic, I've got my own pull telling me I'm terrible and that I don't deserve love, that if I'm not perfect everyone will abandon me. But I also recognize my responsibility to minimize harm. It wasn't easy, but I learned how to step away when I'm feeling destructive emotions and I've spent years working to heal the wounds (actually just recently started EMDR, but I also learned CBT techniques years ago).
Damage done because of trauma is still damage done.
I’m glad my intent is coming across, even though I wasn’t very clear with it. I didn’t explicitly say that it’s not acceptable to harm others if you’ve been harmed: it’s not, and I aspire to not do damage to others, even as I sometimes poorly navigate my way through life.
I felt compelled to jump in to give a more human face to how challenging it can be to get from one point to another.
I’m in a very similar situation. I’ve struggled for a long time to find a workable therapist. Fragile trust, ADHD, and CPTSD. I’ve done some CBT work, and found a therapist I really trust. I’m now in the beginning phases of EMDR.
Yeah, I've also got the fun ADHD + CPTSD combo lol. And yeah I mostly feel the need to talk about the responsibility to minimize harm because of the ways I've been hurt by people with BPD.
And yeah, I haven't gotten to the part of emdr with the lights, but I'm hopeful. I've heard amazing things from my friend's brother.