this post was submitted on 02 Nov 2026
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Damn that sucks. Shoulda just been honest. "Look, something about that portabella must not be agreeing with me. I might have a huge fart coming, but I don't want it to distract me from what you're saying. I'll try to let it out quietly if I can, but if it catches me off guard, please forgive me if I let one rip. I'll try to give you a warning so you can stand upwind."
NEVER TRUST A FART. I've been married for decades and I don't let rip unless I know what's up. never, ever just trust a fart.
Listen to mr conductor.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raP1AeV68rA
Okay then, in that case the commenter should tell his date that he has bubble guts and needs to go home early but that he had fun and would like to go out again next week or sometime.
The point is that trying to play it off and ending up seeming to shut down suddenly and then suffer through for a bit before inexplicably leaving early is way worse than simply being honest even if it might sound disgusting.
If she's grossed out by farts or doesn't want to date you again because something you ate gave you diarrhea, then she's not marriage material. How do you expect that to go when you're living together for the rest of your lives?