Ask Lemmy

The use of language. My mom was a proofreader for a handful of local editorials, so the "correctness" of language was pushed very hard on to me from very little. As a result, I pushed for "correct" language onto others very hard as well. And this isnt about English, but my birth language, which has lots of conjugation rules, gendering details, grammar quirks and special cases; so people do tend to deviate from proper grammar a lot in informal settings (and sometimes in formal as well). I became a "language nazi" of sorts, and noticed quickly how people spoke fearfully in front of me to avoid making mistakes and getting corrected. This was something I (regretfully) took pride of.

Until one day, a friend of mine which specialized in languages said to me: "Language isn't prescriptive; it's descriptive". And it took a while, a plethora of questions, and infinite patience from her, but I eventually came around and understood what she was saying: language is what we use to convey ideas from one to the other. We stick to a given language and grammar (structure) because that's the common agreement for the language speakers, in the expectations that it makes for easier communication. BUT, if a sentence can transmit correctly a thought, even when not using a word in the dictionary or not applying grammar rules, then it's fine as long as me (or whomever is the interlocutor) understands what they're trying to say. Furthermore, even when using proper grammar with "existing words", communication can be confusing and requires clarification. If you can make up a word in the spot that better conveys what you're trying to say, then I'm all for it! (And probably will start using it myself). If you learned to speak a certain way and call stuff a different name from what I learned, or if you add extra letters to the word because that's what you were taught by your family (something very usual) then that's cool and I'll respect it.

TLDR: Language has no rules. It is what we make of it.