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Slur reclamation exists
generally reclamation is framed as positive usage only. I just learned about this recently myself with the word bitch. Calling my girl friends bitches in a nice way, when i'm not angry and mean it to be endearing is reclamation.
Calling another woman (like jk rowling) a bitch when i don't like her or her actions is misogynistic even though i'm a woman, because it's being used to tear down/degrade.
I think the same logic applies to this, a gay man calling his friends the f slur endearingly is fine, but using it hatefully is no different than a straight person doing it.
Not everyone agrees with it.