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Personally I think anyone trying to "reclaim" a slur is an ignoramus. Not everyone agrees with the use of those words in any context so it doesn't matter if you are "card carrying", it still doesn't make it okay to say in mixed company where you don't know how that word will impact those present.
I have seen this in action numerous times with different groups where someone catches a beating for dropping a slur even though they were "allowed" to say it.