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I had a cat with dementia when I was a kid, she didn't make it past 7 years old. Now I have a 16yo cat who is starting to show the same signs. Today she nearly ran out of the house when I got home, and didn't seem to recognize me. It's rough.
She's curled up next to me rn, but I'm still thinking those hard thoughts like when do I make the choice to put her to sleep? I'm not ready for that, maybe never will be, but she's always been a very frightened cat and she doesn't deserve to feel more frightened because of dementia.
This year I had to euthanize a cat I had the pleasure to have in my life for almost 14 years. I saw her come into this world right out of her mum, and I was there when she died. Afterwards, we brought her from the veterinarian and buried her in my mother's backyard.
She had late stage cancer. I never knew when was the right moment to say "it's time". The fucked up part is that we can't get verbal confirmation that "this is it" for them.
She could barely walk or breathe by the end and I didn't know if I was being selfish or if I was stealing time that she still wanted to have. It was brutal. Everyday was just one more day that I wanted to say goodbye.
And then one day I saw her struggle so much to breathe and said "it's time". The meds didn't work anymore and I couldn't ease her suffering in any way anymore.
That moment still sounds far off with your beloved friend. Treasure those cozy and snuggled naps they love to take and be kind to yourself as you navigate it all.
She is unfortunately having other medical problems. The steroid either isn't working anymore or she forgets that she isn't in pain/expects certain touches to be painful, I'm not sure which.
This cat has my whole heart. Like if soul mates could be pets, she's mine.
Thank you for sharing, and understanding the struggle with giving our little loved ones the life and death they deserve. I'm sorry that you had to make that choice, but I'm glad that you had the strength to do so for her.
I think about my grandfather often since my little Ami has shown the same symptoms he had. I've always been so grateful that by the time the end came for him, it was quick, and I know that's what he would have wanted. Perhaps that's the view I need to keep for her
Quality of life is the main recommended indicator. If she's not in debilitating pain, active, and generally happy then there's no reason for concern.
You'll know. When her behavior gets to the point where she's not having good quality of life, if she starts hiding all the time, panicking regularly, or finding dark places to be alone, or grooming/litterbox issues. I think if she just has bouts of memory loss but they return and she's happy, it's not time yet. I've been "fortunate" with my pets in that whatever the issue was, each time it became obvious very quickly and made the decision easy (but still hard to deal with, it always is).
If you're afraid you'll be unable to put her to sleep when she needs, one thing I've learned is that having another pet helps, it's not substituting them, it's having someone else to keep company when they're gone. When I put my older dog to sleep, the one year old mut, I hugged her so much and I cried into her fur a lot, but she helped me through the pain and kept me going because I still had to take care of her