this post was submitted on 17 Sep 2025
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There may be an age or generational explanation for this, but I especially notice this behavior on Reddit while not nearly as much here on Lemmy (though maybe that's also a mater of implementation).

It seems many are so quick to assert overly-confident positions, but then hit-and-run with some smarmy remark at even the slightest challenge, then quickly block. Like, not even crazy stuff. Just basic, civil disagreements. I can pretty well predict when it will happen, and it always feels like such a petty ego-sparing fingers-in-ears denial thing to do, and to me if anything shows they were not very confident in their views being challenged.

I think I've only blocked a handful of people over a decade who were actively spamming, stalking, or spewing extremely hateful rhetoric and I just reported them simultaneously. You have to cross a pretty extreme and irrational line for me to do that.

The reason I ask is to see if I'm missing something; to better understand the mindset of those who do.

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[–] Strider@lemmy.world 1 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (1 children)

Yes, I noticed that important part. Hence the likelyhood is high but still with a margin of error and not to anybodys fault.

I've also had situations where I gave second chances and was stumped, just confirming my prior judgement.

I'm not fully sure what I am trying to add but maybe just being human really is a dilemma and surprisingly hard.

[–] Libb@piefed.social 1 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

I’m not fully sure what I am trying to add but maybe just being human really is a dilemma and surprisingly hard.

I think I understand what you're trying to say and I agree. And, yes, it can be hard.

But I'm also probably much older than you (and, hopefully for you, in a much poorer health than you are) and I know my time is limited. Literally, I should have died years ago, it just happened I did not die and have since done my best to preserve what remained of my health. And that includes being fine with making decisions that are helping me waste as little of my time as possible.

A bit like with all the books I will not read, or the movies I will not watch, or the places I will never go (realizing the climatic nightmare we were heading into, some 25 years or so ago, my spouse and I decided to stop traveling by plane and to do our best to reduce our energy consumption and the amount of waste we generate by changing our way of life). So, obviously, we're missing out on a lot of stuff and nice places. But that's OK. It's a choice we made. It also helps focus a lot more on other great things we may not have even considered back then.

As far as potential 'trolls' are concerned, it's a choice I made based on the time I think I have left and the amount of which I'm ok to spend dealing online with 'maybe' this or that perfect stranger that have not made the best first (or second) impression is worth indeed one more chance, and me spending a little more of my time listening to them. Frankly, its seldom worth it. Too much hatred (of this or that other person and/or group) and too much anger and desire to manipulate an audience, poorly disguised as 'reasoning', 'facts' or mere 'information sharing'. I'd rather read a good book, listen to great music, or even better: spend that time with my spouse ;)

[–] Strider@lemmy.world 1 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Good answer, thank you!

You'd be surprised though. These are the times I miss direct messages here. One of your estimates about me is wrong (factually, sadly) and the other is debatable, we might be close in age.

I just took another route. I am still in the process of what more and what less to do, while having discovered I am likely an Autist, setting hard limits at some places.

Ans yes, while there is much hate (currently seeming concentrated in the USA) people that open up often also have a lot of reason. Not defending anyones action here though.

[–] Libb@piefed.social 1 points 6 hours ago

You’d be surprised though. These are the times I miss direct messages here. One of your estimates about me is wrong (factually, sadly) and the other is debatable, we might be close in age.

Sorry to hear that (not referring to your age ;)

If you ever want to MP me the simplest way would be to check the blog (in my profile), on its contact page you will find an email

I just took another route. I am still in the process of what more and what less to do, while having discovered I am likely an Autist, setting hard limits at some places.

Limits are essentials. No matter how arbitrary they can be.

Ans yes, while there is much hate (currently seeming concentrated in the USA) people that open up often also have a lot of reason.

No doubt about that but spreading even more hate or anger is very unlikely to work as a remedy. It's difficult, there is no escaping that alas.