Recently I've been thinking, reflecting, and contemplating my life. I think I may have been born in the body of a male homosexual, but cursed with an attraction to women.

It's cool to be gay but none of my efforts ever pan out. Whenever I try watching gay porn I either lose interest or struggle to finish. I try to relax myself and trick my brain but I don't typically find masculinity attractive. I've tried other strategies, but have yet to really find the thrill.

I don't want to be excluded from the revolution. I hate men and couldn't imagine ever being with one. Men represent everything wrong with this world. The cruelty, hate, aggression, and malice do nothing for me.

Overall my build is incredibly disappointing for a man, but my shoulders are too wide for me to become a women. I think I've always had more interest from men. Women will be my friend, or have in the past, but have never found me attractive. I know gay guys have, but they weren't my type. It feels so wrong and discriminatory to turn away willing partners over semantics.

My voice is high pitched, I'm way too sensitive, dramatic, emotional. I saw a cute squirrel the other day and cried because he was looking tenaciously for somewhere to bury his acorn. Plenty of older guys have told me they kill animals for fun, not even for food.

I'm sick of being an oppressive force by my every action. I hate knowing that my very being is offensive to women. I do my best to avoid complimenting them. I try not to look in their direction for too long. I don't want to be known as a creep or a freak.

I feel bad for being attracted to women. I'm sorry that I am. I wish that I wasn't. I wish I could be converted.